Indian Wedding

Marwaris belong to a region known as Marvar or Jodhpur of the South Western Rajasthan state in Western India. Marvari weddings are celebrated on a grand spectacular manner with pomp and gaiety. Wedding rituals, held only in the traditional way, are very elaborate and stretch for days on end. Matching of horoscopes of the girl

and boy is very essential for them and they do it with the help of family astrologers. Marwaris prefer to select the bride and the groom from their own community only.

Pre-wedding ceremonies include “Tika”/engagement that is held in the bride’s house, attended only by the male members of the family. The wedding is confirmed by the bride’s brother applying a “Tilak” or “Bindi” on the groom’s forehead.

In “Griha Shanthi and Ganapathi Sthapana”, held two weeks before the wedding, the family priests install an idol of Lord Ganesha and perform a “Puja”/prayer in both the bride’s and groom’s houses separately. “Pithi dastoor/Ban ceremony is held in both houses wherein a paste of turmeric and sandal is smeared on the bride and groom. During this elaborate ceremony the bride is dressed up in the traditional Rajasthani orange color outfit or “Poshak” after which the bride and groom are banned to leave their houses till the wedding day.

“Mehfils”-entertainments-are performed for men and women folk separately in the evenings. “Dholaks”/small drums are played and women in elaborate dresses dance to the tunes of traditional Marwari wedding songs. The bride and the groom, seated in their respective “mehfils” can participate in the dance occasionally.

In the important ritual “Janev” the groom, in an ascetic outfit, is given the option of accepting the married life or the ascetic life. After wearing the thread, when the groom makes a mock attempt to go for the ascetic, his maternal uncle prevents him and asks him to take up the married life. The bride’s relatives bring the “Palla dastoor” containing the dresses, jewelry and gifts for the groom to wear on the wedding day.

“Mahira Dastoor”, yet another important ceremony, in which the bride’s/groom’s maternal uncle, Mama, arrives at his sister’s house with much fanfare and distributes clothes, jewelry, sweets etc to all the members of the bride’s/groom’s family in a bid to reduce the wedding expenses of his sister.

In the ritual “Nikasi”, the groom wears a “Pagdi”/headgear tied up by his sister’s husband and a “Sehra”/Turban of flowers or pearls is attached to the ‘pagdi’. The groom’s brother’s wife applies “Kajal” in his eyes. Their custom insists him to visit the temple first before the “Baraat”/wedding procession.

The Marwari groom is seen in the traditional costume “Achkan”, a long coat in golden color and a bottom, “Churidar”. He also wears a saffron color turban and regal shoes. As the ‘baraat’ reaches the bride’s house the groom hits the “toran”, a decoration at the entrance, with a neem stick. This ceremony, “Toranchar” is believed to have the power to ward off any evil eye. Now the bride’s mother extends a warm welcome to the groom by performing the “Aarti” and applying “Tilak” to the groom’s forehead. The groom is taken to the wedding altar where the ritual “Jaimala”, the exchange of garlands between the bride and groom takes place.

The wedding costume of a Marvari bride is a typical expensive Rajasthani “Poshak’ consisting of a ghaghra choli and duppatta embellished with beautiful designs and embroidery made with golden threads. The traditional color of the bridal dress is red, deep yellow, orange or pink. From head to toe she is adorned with jewelry, to mention a few, a circular piece of jewelry, known as “rakhri”, hanging from the forehead at the hair partition, “timaniya”, a type of choker inlaid with uncut diamonds, a set of ivory or gold bangles known as “Chooda”, hanging golden earrings, “Bajubandhi”, gold armlets studded with stones, gold anklets, gold toe-rings known as “bicchiya” and “nath” or nose-ring embedded with stones.

“Grandhi Bandhan” is a Marwari wedding ceremony in which the cloth around the groom’s waist and the bride’s ‘duppatta’ are tied together, symbolizing the union of the bride and the groom. “Paanigrahan” involves the groom taking the bride’s hands in his, signifying their future life together. All the Marwari weddings are held in front of the holy fire and the couple makes four circles around the fire and three at the entrance.

The bride, in the ritual “Ashwahrohan”, places her right foot on a grinding stone which shows the determination of the bride to face the future challenges in her married life boldly and firmly. The bride’s brother, on his part, puts puffed rice in his sister’s hands which she passes to the groom and later is offered to the holy fire, signifying the brother’s concerns and good wishes for his sister.

Next, the groom asks his bride to sit on his left hand side to indicate that he has placed her in his heart. This is a ritual known as “Vamang-Sthapana” and in “Sindurdaan” the groom applies sindoor or vermilion on the partition of her hair followed by the couple taking seven steps together to show that they will take all the future steps together. Both of them take seven vows as well.

The ritual “Aanjhala bharaai” involves the groom’s father who places a bag full of money in the bride’s lap and the bride gives a portion of the money to her husband’s sister and her husband after which the newly weds leave the marriage venue.

In the ritual “Paharavani” the groom is seated on a new cloth for a fun-filled “Sloka”/Poem session. A “tika”/bindi is applied on his forehead. The bride’s female family members ask him to recite poems after which the bride is asked to break an earthen lamp on the “dahaleez”/threshold of the house and leaves for her new house along with her husband. Bidai-in this ritual a coconut is placed under the wheels of the car and the bride who was, till now, in a veil covering her face lifts it for the first time in front of her husband and he in turn makes her happy with a piece of jewelry.
When the couple arrives at the groom’s house, “Grihapravesh” is conducted with various “Pujas”/Prayers. “Pagelagani” is a ritual performed the day after the ‘Grihapravesh” when the bride, still in her veil, is introduced to all the family members who shower her with various gifts. Finally the bride gets rid of her veil.

Pure vegetarian food is served in a Marvari wedding feast.

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Gujaratis, all over the world, find pride and happiness in celebrating their festivals. So it is no wonder, as far for wedding Gujaratis follow all the customs that are fun-inseparable from the traditional Gujarati marriage.

Gujarati wedding is indeed a ritualistic concept as witnessed by a lot of fun-filled rituals and many a pious occasion. Gujaratis begin their weddings by offering prayers to Lord Ganesha for His blessings.
Ghari Puja, the first and the most important ritual of Gujaratis, conducted on the eve of the wedding day, is carried out in the houses of the bride and the groom separately while the priest does the prayers with rice, coconut, wheat grains, oil, betel nuts, turmeric and such spices/ The purpose of this ‘puja’ is to remind the groom that although his lifestyle changes he should always be prepared to give to charity and help the less privileged people.
In their bridal finery the mothers of the bride and groom carry an earthen pot of water on their heads and walk to the threshold of their houses. Then the son-in-law of each family will break the pot of water with a knife to ward off any evil influences. The friends and relatives decorate the parents with garlands of flowers and money. Again, the friends and relatives tear off the old clothes worn by the bride and the groom, indicating the end of their old life.
“Ponkvu” marks the arrival of the groom and is welcomed by the mother-in-law at the doorway, with performing the “Aarti”. She will try to ask him to accept her daughter in marriage by rubbing her nose at the door to the amusement of all.
“Madhuparka” is a ritual in which the groom’s feet are washed while he sits under the Mandap/altar and he is given milk and honey. Now an interesting custom follows in which the bride’s sisters hide his shoes away and upon promising an amount agreeable to them, they return the shoes at the end of the day.
Most Gujarati brides opt for expensive silk saris as their wedding costume, preferable color being red highlighted by matching traditional jewelry. The gorgeous sari is worn in a bit different way, in their traditional style. But recent trends show that designer bridal lehengas, available in various shades are gaining popularity and more and more modern brides go for stylish chic-looking lehengas. The bride is adorned with gold jewelry such as “Mang-tika”along the hair parting, a big circular nosering with a chain hooked into the hair and beautiful gold necklaces, gold and glass bangles and “Payal”/anklets.
The groom is attired in a traditional “dhoti-kurta”, but the present trends indicate a shift to designer Pyjamas-Kurta.
According to the Gujarati custom bride’s maternal uncle carries her to the mandap’altar where “Antarpaat”, a curtain, separating the groom from the bride is lowered and the two place garlands in each other’s .necks. Then the ritual, “Hasta Milap”, placing the bride’s hand over the groom’s takes place.
Marriage rituals involve joining of the hands, “Hathialo”, wherein a corner of the bride’s sari is tied to a scarf worn by the groom and the right hands of the couple are tied with a holy thread, supposed to be an eternal bond joining them forever. They then seek God’s blessing for their union and pray to give them strength. In Varmala ceremony a cord is tied around their necks to safeguard against evil spirits. To conclude the bride’s father gives his daughter away to the groom in the Kanyadan ritual. Next the newly weds, in “Mangal Phera”make four circles, symbolizing the four cardinal principles of life, Dharma/Justice, Artha/Livelihood, Kama/Love and Moksha/Salvation, of the auspicious fire.

After marriage rituals include “Soubhagyavathi Bhava” in which the elderly married women of the girl’s side give “Ashirvad”/blessings by whispering into the right ear of the bride and “Vidaai”, the painful departure of the bride to her husband’s house.

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