Indian Wedding

Marriages alliances among Tamil Chettiars, a progressive community of Tamil Nadu, a state in South India, are traditionally fixed within certain villages. There is absolutely no wonder, therefore, that all Chettiars are related and weddings among first cousins are very common. In fact the first choice for an eligible bachelor would be either his sister’s or maternal uncle’s daughter.

The weddings are elaborately rich and unique in rituals and customs. Through a middle man the bride’s party informs the groom’s people how much gifts or ‘seer’ they are prepared to give to their daughter for her wedding.
Nichayadartham or Engagement
When the groom’s party agrees for the wedding, on an auspicious day ‘Nichayadartham’ or engagement is held in the bride’s house. Two copies of the engagement agreement are written by a ‘pujari’/priest and these are exchanged between the two families. To make the sacred ‘mangalasutra’ known as ‘taali’ in Tamil language the groom’ parents give a part of the gold to the bride’s parents. The priest selects an auspicious date for the wedding.

For fixing the ‘muhurthakal’ for the wedding ‘pandal’ (canopy erected for holding the wedding rites) the person who will build the ‘pandal’ applies turmeric paste and red earth on a bamboo stick and ties a bunch of mango leaves on its top. Ghee (clarified butter) and coral (a semi-precious stone) are kept in a hole dug in the ground. Pouring milk on top of the bamboo stick, it is placed and fixed in the hole. Small cups with pulses are placed in front of the pole and they are allowed to germinate.

The maternal and paternal grandparents of the boy and girl are informed about the alliance by their parents seated on seats made of palm leaves, set on a ‘kolam’ (a decorative design drawn with colored rice flour.

Three days before the wedding, the two families go to their family temples for registering the legal agreement between the families. Then the couple is accepted as a unit of the temple. This registration is commemorated with ash and garlands brought by the temple staff. These garlands are later used for the actual wedding.

In the ritual ‘Padaipu’, also known as ‘koodai akki unnuthal’ ancestors are honored by offering cooked food. ‘Manai Poduthal’ is building the brick platform for the couple to sit on during various wedding rituals. ‘Arasanikkal’ is a decorated bamboo stick erected by the relatives in front of the wedding platform at the bride’s residence. This bamboo stick represents a king’s presence at the wedding. On the wedding morning a traditional lighted lamp is hung from a pole tied horizontally next to the ‘arasanikkal’. It is extinguished only after all the wedding rituals.
‘Mattru Kattuthal’ is creating a cloth ceiling to cover the top of the wedding platform. This provides protection to the couple. Ladies from both families decorate the houses with colorful designs known as ‘kolam’ made of rice flour. Members from groom’s family along with auspicious gifts come to the bride’s place to receive the sacred ‘mangalasutra/taali’. Meanwhile the groom’s maternal uncle adorns his toes with silver rings called ‘minji’.
Family members go to the temples to receive the garlands which are handed over to the bride’s family to use in the wedding rituals. Two elders from the groom’s family make an auspicious necklace for the groom to wear during wedding ceremonies by stringing various pendants together.
Early morning the bride, after bath, is decorated with gold chains and neem leaves are kept on her head, waist, shoulders and feet. These leaves are later taken away by a stick. The bride takes a second bath known as ‘Kanni Neeradal” or virgin bath after the ‘Vinayaka Puja’ conducted by the ‘pujari’/priest. This ritual is known as ‘Pooram Kazhithal. In another interesting ritual ‘Thumbu Pidithal’ the centre of the house is decorated with ‘kolam’-color designs-in the shape of a dome known as ‘gopuram’ to invoke the presence of God.
In a ceremony observed separately in both houses the bride and the groom are adorned with gold jewels. The ‘traditional ‘Azhagu Aarti’ is performed for the groom by his paternal grandmother just before he leaves for the bride’s house. She applies sacred ash on his forehead and bids him farewell.
The groom’s procession, accompanied by the playing of the ‘nadeswaram’, a wind instrument, is taken to a ‘Ganesh Temple’ for prayer before proceeding to the wedding venue. The bride’s people welcome the groom with auspicious gifts and a golden ring kept on a big plate for the groom. The groom’s mother carries the ‘mangalasutra/taali’ along with other gifts for the bride. The bride, accompanied by her paternal aunt, walks upto the groom while her brothers shower flowers on her. She stands on a ‘kolam’ (design on the floor) and her paternal grandmother/aunt performs the customary ‘aarti’ for her.
The bride looks dazzling in a gorgeous Kanjeepuram sari, lavishly decorated with ‘zari works and a chic matching blouse. The sari is too expensive, the color being red, maroon, green, magenta or any other bright ones. From head to toe she wears traditional jewelry, renowned for its breath-taking beauty. Her gold necklaces, bangles and earrings have diamonds, rubies and emeralds intricately set in. Her hair is elaborately adorned with jasmine flowers. The bridegroom’s dress includes a traditional white dhoti and a shirt.
The ‘pujari’ performs ‘Ganesh Puja’ for the bride and groom separately. Then the maternal uncles of the bride and groom tie bracelets known as ‘kappus’ containing a silver coin and a turmeric piece on a red cloth on their right wrists while the elders shower flowers on them. The couple is showered with the sprouted grains from the ‘Arasanikkal’ for a happy and prosperous married life. They receive blessings from the family members and friends who touch them on their shoulders, elbows and wrists with flowers dipped in milk, repeating three times.
Now the auspicious ‘mangalasutra/taali’ is brought in a plate and the elders bless it. The bride, wearing the clothes brought by the groom’s mother, stands on the platform facing east while the groom stands in front of her. After a prayer, the groom applies ash, brought from the temple on his forehead and on the bride too. He then puts the temple garland around her neck. He receives the ‘taali’ from an elder member of the family and ties the first two knots and his sister the third one around the bride’s neck. The ‘taali’ with the three knots are smeared with turmeric and vermilion. The bride keeps coconut and rice on a platter followed by the couple exchanging garlands three times and the blessings of the elders. The bride and the groom make seven circles (saptapathy) around the holy fire with the ‘pujari’/priest chanting marriage rites.
After this the fathers of the newly weds sit in the hall to sign the marriage agreement called ‘Isaivu pidimanam’ made by the priest and the marriage gets its recognition.
The bride is given a ceremonial welcome into her husband’s house either by his sister or mother. For this, seven cups containing turmeric, sacred ash, rice, salt, cotton, fruits, betel leaves and tamarind are placed on a platter. A measure, filled with paddy and a brinjal/betel leaf at its top known as ‘nirai nazi’ and a vessel with a spout filled with water are also kept. The bride stands facing east and the mother or sister touches the cups seven times and applies the sacred ash on her forehead and next on the bride. Repeating this for twenty one times, she gives a betel leaf to the bride and pours water on it.

Then the mother/sister touches the bride’s forehead with the betel leaf, thus welcoming her to the new house. The bride on her part washes her mother-in-law’s feet known as ‘padapuja’, followed by some traditional rituals in the groom’s house, to mention a few, the turmeric bath for the couple, ‘Kulam Vazhum Pillai’, i.e. the bride is entrusted with the household duties and ‘Thumbu Kattudal’-tying of the matrimonial thread around the bride’s neck.

After all the functions, bride’s family hosts a feast known as ‘kaichi uttrudal’ for the groom’s people. To conclude, the bride’s father removes the ‘arasanikkal’ and immerses the sprouted grains covered with a silk cloth in a nearby tank or lake.

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Tamilnadu, a south Indian state in India, consists of several communities of which Mudaliar is an advanced, educated and socially well-aware community. Even then their weddings are conducted in traditional and religious manner with a priest officiating the wedding rituals.

In the Tamil Mudaliar community, the alliance is confirmed through a memorandum wherein the fathers of the boy and the girl sign the contract. In this engagement ceremony the groom’s family give gifts such as a sari, some jewelry and 21 platters of fruits and dried fruits and the date of the wedding is also fixed.

All the wedding rituals begin with a ‘Ganesha puja. ‘Pandakal’ is a ceremony in which nine ‘sumangalis’, married women smear an odd number of eyes with ‘haldi’/turmeric’ and ‘kumkum/vermilion on a bamboo pillar that is erected for a four-legged ‘pandal’/shed.

In the beautification of the bride ceremony, known as ‘Nalangu’, the bride sits on a wooden plank on the dais. Under this plank a banana leaf is placed with a handful of uncooked rice spread on it. Three stools, one with ‘kumkum’/vermilion, sandalwood paste and rose water, the second one with betel leaves, betel nuts and flowers and the third with a plate containing ‘aarthi’(a red water due to the presence of lime and turmeric) are placed in front of the bride.

Sumangalis(married women, not widows), one by one, apply sandalwood paste on the bride’s hands, put vermilion on her forehead and sprinkle rose water on her. The beautification ceremony is completed with performing an ‘aarti’.

The bride’s brother or uncle goes to the groom’s house with gifts for him and invites him to marry the bride. After performing ‘Nalangu’ for the groom, he is taken to the wedding venue in a beautifully decorated car. The ladies from the bride’s family receive him by performing an ‘aarti’ on him. The bride is also brought to the venue and a ‘Nalangu’ is performed for her too.

On the wedding morning, the ‘pandal’/shed is erected with the help of the four legs or pillars and decorated with banana tree stalks on the four corners, tender coconuts, mango leaves and flowers.

‘Arsan Kal’ is a ritual in which a bamboo stick is erected in front of the wedding altar. ‘Arsan’ in Tamil language means ruler or king and ‘Kal’ means standard. Years back the king was invited to the wedding that set a high standard for such ceremonies. This custom is represented by five ‘sumangalis’, married women, erecting another bamboo stick and conducting the honors such as bathing the bamboo stick with milk, sandalwood paste and vermilion and also tying a silk scarf on it and lastly performing an ‘aarti’ for it.

The groom washes his parents’ feet known as ‘padapuja’ and they bless him after which a ‘Ganesha puja’ is held and in the ‘upanayanam’ a sacred white thread is put around the groom’s chest. When the groom makes a mock attempt to leave on a pilgrimage to become an ascetic, the bride’s brother stops him by washing his feet and requesting to accept his sister in marriage.

Now, it is the turn of the bride to offer a ‘puja’/prayer to Mahalaxmi, the Goddess of wealth and then she performs ‘Padapuja’ /washing of feet for her parents to bless her. The groom’s people appear with wedding dresses for the bride and groom and also the garlands and wearing these wedding clothes the bride and groom walk towards the ‘pandal’/shed.

The bride looks fascinating in a gorgeous Kanjeepuram silk sari, usually red in color, but all the bright colors are very popular. The sari has a thick ‘zari’ border and the body is embellished with beautiful golden embroidery work. She wears a matching tight-fitting blouse that makes her more attractive. A Mudaliar bride, like all other south Indian brides, is adorned with heavy gold jewelry, gifted by her and groom’s parents. She wears a piece of gold jewelry known as ‘Netti chutti’ along the parting of her hair and dazzling earrings. The long and short necklaces around her neck are beautifully inlaid with semi-precious stones or pearls. She wears numerous gold bangles on her both wrists and the anklets and toe rings are made of silver. The groom’s outfit consists of a white or off-white dhoti and a shirt.

‘Manai Pongal’ is a ritual in which the groom’s parents cook rice in a clay pot while the couple gets dressed. When they appear in their wedding costume the eldest ‘sumangali’, the married woman, welcomes them with garlands and offering prayers to all deities they enter the ‘pandal’. The officiating priest lights the sacred fire or ‘omam’ as the main witness to the marriage and ties a sacred yellow thread or ‘Kanganam’ around the wrists of the couple.

In the ritual ‘Kannikadanam’, the bride keeps a coconut in her palms and her parents, taking her hands, place them in the groom’s hands, symbolically handing over the responsibility to her husband.

The ‘Mangalyam’ or the ‘mangalasutra’ is a gold pendant in the shape of a tiger tooth. The belief is that, several years back, the groom, after killing a tiger, took a tooth out and tied it around his bride’s neck, thus showing his valor. This pendant is strung on strings of thread strung 108 times and dipped in ‘haldi’/turmeric paste. At the auspicious moment the groom ties the ‘mangalyam’ thread around the bride’s neck with three knots while the wind instrument ‘nadaswaram’ playing in the background. Haldi/turmeric paste is kept on the knot and the groom seals it by pressing his ring on it. The friends and relatives, assembled, bless the couple by showering ‘akshatha’ (rice dipped in turmeric) and flowers on them. Now the couple exchanges garlands three times.

Yet in another ritual the mothers, sisters or aunts tie a piece of gold on the groom’s forehead to demonstrate his authority and relationship. This ritual is repeated for the bride too.

The bride and groom pay homage to the sacred fire-‘Omam’- by circling it three times and the bride’s brother places puffed rice on their hands which they offer into the holy fire together. The officiating priest shows them the star ‘Arundhati’ in the sky and asks them to be as faithful to each other as the mythological goddess ‘Arundhati’, very famous for her chastity.

The ritual ‘sesha’ has a white bed sheet opened and spread in front of the couple in the ‘pandal’ and uncooked rice is kept on it while elderly family members bless them by taking handfuls of rice and dropping them in front of them.

To pay homage, the couple walks around the “Arasanikkal’ and the ‘pandal’ three times while unmarried girls from the bride’s family follow them. When they come back to the wedding ‘pandal’ the ‘kanganam’ tied around their wrists is removed. The bride and the groom then change into a white sari and white dhoti respectively and sprinkle ‘haldi’ water on each other, this primarily meant for ‘breaking the ice’.

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Weddings in Tamil Nadu, a Southern Indian State, are simple, not extravagant and usually well-attended by a large number of relatives and friends. The rituals followed by the Tamil Brahmins are somewhat different from other communities.
An arranged marriage starts with exchange of the horoscopes of the girl and boy and if the horoscopes match well, on mutual consent, a date is fixed for the engagement ceremony to be performed in the groom’s house. On that day priests from both sides meet in the groom’s house and conduct the marriage agreement by exchanging plates containing bananas, coconuts, betel leaves, betel nuts and flowers between the two families. The groom’s mother gives a silk sari to the bride and the groom gets clothes or cash from the bride’s parents.
Palikai Talikkal is a unique ceremony performed by the bride’s family two days prior to the wedding. Five or seven married women from both families put nine types of grain into special clay pots and water them. On the next day after wedding the newly weds throw them into a river or pond/ There is a belief that the fish in the water will eat the sprouted grains and bless the couple.
A small ritual “Panda Kaal”, invoking the blessings of the family deity and “Vratham”, invoking the blessings of the ancestors are performed before the wedding day.
When the groom’s party arrives at the wedding hall one day prior to the wedding the bride’s brother applies a “bindi” of sandal paste and vermilion to his forehead and garlands him. In the age old “Janavaasam” ceremony, the groom is seated in a decorated car and is taken to the wedding hall followed by a large number of relatives and friends with the musicians playing the traditional wedding songs. At the entrance he is welcomed by the bride’s brother with garlands followed by “Nicchayathamboolam” in which the groom’s family offers a costly beautiful silk sari and jewels to the bride. When she comes wearing this sari the groom’s sister applies sandal paste and kumkum/veimilion on her forehead. The “Sastrigal”/priest reads the wedding invitation containing the wedding date and time/’Muhurtham’ and the venue etc.
On the wedding morning the bride and groom have an auspicious holy bath/”Mangala Snanam” in their respective homes. Wearing the ‘Veshti’ in the traditional custom known as “Pancchakaccham” and an “Angavastram” draped over his shoulders the groom prepares for “Kasi Yatra”/Pilgrimage to Kasi, a holy place in North India, renouncing all worldly pleasures. He wears ordinary slippers and holds an umbrella, a walking stick, a shoulder bag and a hand fan made of palm leaf. The girl’s father intercepts him offering his daughter in marriage.
The bride and groom exchange garlands amidst fun and frolic and are seated side by side on an “Oonjal”/ swing. Married women perform certain traditional rituals with singing in the background,
In the “Kanyadaanam” the bride sits on her father’s lap holding a coconut in her hands and the mother pours water over the coconut that symbolizes the giving away of their daughter. The bride and her father hand over the coconut to the groom with the chanting of Vedic mantras/hymns by the priest.
Now the bride changes her sari and comes back in the nine yards “Madissar Pudavai”/sari given by the groom’s family. She wears this sari in the traditional style with the help of the groom’s sister. The sari has thick zari border and the auspicious color could be deep red or reddish yellow. The bride is adorned from head to toe with traditional as well as modern jewelry. The head pieces include “Netti chutti” along the parting of the hair, ”Suryaprabha” and “Chandraprabha” on either side of the parting, a “Rakkudi” and “Thirukkuppu” on the back of the head while the hair is fully covered with jasmine and other scented flowers. Her ears have “Jhimki” with supporting “Mattal” or “Vairakkammal”/diamond earrings with “Mattal” She wears “Nath”/nose rings on the nose and pillakku from the parting of the nostrils. Various types of necklaces adorn her neck and both her hands dazzle with plain and stone or pearl- studded bangles. The waist band is known as “Oddiyanam” embellished with stones or pearls. All these ornaments are made up of gold except the silver “Golussu”/anklets. The bride gets her silver “Metti”/toerings only after the ‘mangalasutra’ ceremony when the groom puts them onto her toes.
For the most important part of the wedding, the bride sits on her father’s lap and the groom ties the “Mangalasutra”/”Taali”, the sacred yellow thread around her neck with one knot while his sister ties two, the three knots denoting the union of mind, spirit and body. Musical instruments, “Nadaswaram and “Melam”/”Thavil” play in the background and the gathering bless the couple with showering flowers and “Akshathai”/rice, dipped in turmeric, on them.
Holding the bride’s right big toe, the groom makes her take seven steps and places her right foot on an “ammi’, a grind stone, indication of a strong and everlasting bond between them.
Exchange of clothes and gifts between the two families and offering of “Nel Pori” to the sacred fire by the bride’s brother are some other rituals.
The final ritual sees the bride bidding farewell to her house and entering her husband’s house with her right foot first after the traditional “AARTI.”

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