Indian Wedding

Though the Saraswat Hindu Brahmin community is spread in several Indian states the one settled down in the coastal regions of the south Karnataka and north Kerala is small in number, well-educated and highly evolved. For an arranged wedding alliance, horoscopes play a prime role. Marriage between families of the same ‘gotra’/ancestral lineage is banned among them. Though they belong to a highly evolved community with a high level of social awareness, their wedding ceremonies are traditional, religious and somber.

‘Nandi’, though simple, but an important ceremony, performed ten days prior to the actual wedding, is a ,puja’ held separately in both houses, the purpose being to negate any ill-effects caused by any death in the family and for the smooth conduct of the wedding ceremonies. A ‘Kalesha’/silver pot with a coconut is kept on a small heap of rice and is placed in the ‘puja’ room before the deity till the end of all wedding rituals

The ‘Nischithambul’ or the engagement ceremony held on an auspicious date fixed by the Brahmin ‘pujari/priest is to announce the acceptance to the alliance by both the families. After a brief ‘puja’ the parents of the girl and boy exchange silver platters containing ‘Palathalambul’ such as coconuts, bananas, various other fruits and sweets. The groom’s parents gift the bride with a costly silk sari and gold jewelry and the bride’s parents, in turn, present the groom with gold chain or watch and clothes.

A traditional event, ‘Yedhur Kansani’, practiced by women from both families, is to get acquainted with each other. They carry, on silver platters, betel leaves folded in a specific manner, rice, coconuts, flowers, ‘sindoor’/vermilion, haldi/turmeric and rose water in a ‘gulab dani’, a long-necked silver jar, the most important item being a ‘kalesh kanadi’, a silver platter with a small heap of rice/ On this is placed a silver pot with a coconut decorated with mango leaves on top. A small mirror and a gold chain are also kept on top of it.

At the entrance of the wedding venue, the women from each family stand about 50ft apart facing each other. Amidst Vedic mantras the women from the bride’s side go to the groom’s relatives and welcome them with flowers, vermilion, turmeric and sprinkle rose water on them. Now the female members from the groom’s family honor the bride’s relatives by conducting the ritual in the same manner.

In the ritual, ‘thread ceremony’ the bride’s father extends a warm welcome to the groom at the entrance of the ‘pandol’/shed specially erected and her mother performs the traditional ‘aarti’ for him. The groom is then made to sit and the bride’s father washes his feet and ties the sacred thread known as ‘Jhanava’ on him
In the ritual ‘phool-mudi’, giving a warm reception to the bride, the groom’s mother decorates her hair with flowers and performing an ‘aarti for her she showers rice on her. Then she asks the ‘sumangalis’, married ladies present there, to bless her future daughter-in-law.

The traditional and religious ceremony ‘Urdha-moorthu’ is held in the houses of the bride and the groom separately. The bride sits next to a round grinding stone and with the help of her unmarried sisters and cousins she grinds two varieties of lentil, ‘urad dal’ and ‘moong dal’. The groom and his family attend this function. The groom also performs the same function attended by the bride and her family. After this ritual the family priest conducts the ‘Navagraha puja’, the prayer of the nine planets.
Now the groom, wearing a dhoti and slippers and holding an umbrella makes a mock pilgrimage attempt and the bride’s father prevents him by offering his daughter’s hand in marriage. At this the groom returns to get married.

‘Lagna’, the marriage ceremony consists of a lot of ‘pujas’/prayers and rituals conducted by two priests, representing each family. The bride’s brother leads the groom to the wedding venue in a decorated car. The bride makes her appearance in a nine-yard sari in the ‘Kasa’ style without a ‘pallu. She wears a matching blouse over which a white shawl either’ mulmul or georgette is draped in the ‘V’-shape to indicate her unmarried status.

When she enters the wedding ‘mantap’/platform with the help of the priest she performs a ‘puja’ or prayer known as ‘mantapratishta’ or ‘mantap puja’. Now her mother adorns her with a ‘kare-mani’ chain, a gold chain with a string of black beads strung on it and two ‘kare-mani’ bangles, gold bangles with black beads on it on her wrists.

The groom and a small male child are seated on a sofa outside the mantap and special prayer, known as the ‘shibika puja’ is held for him.
Then the bride’s father takes the groom to the wedding ‘mandap’.

Five ladies from the bride’s family bring gifts such as ‘lagna’ sari, ‘chautanam’ sari, two additional saris and the most important ‘mangalsutra’, a gold chain with red corals strung on it. The bride’s maternal uncle carries her to the wedding ‘mantap’ while the priests, holding a silk sheet between the bride and the groom chants Vedic mantras and announce the ‘gotras’/lineage and ‘pravaras’/pedigree of the two families to the invitees.

The marriage ceremony begins with the ‘kanyadaan’ in which the father lifting her, hands her over to the groom, entrusting her in the care of the groom. The ‘sutra-bandhan’ consists of encircling the couple with a nine-yard thread. In the ‘kangan-bandhan’ ceremony, the couple slips bangles on each other’s wrists to make sure that all the deities’ blessings will be showered on them all through the wedding ceremonies.

Next comes the most important part, the ‘mangalsutra’ wherein the groom ties the traditional necklace, the symbol of marital status, around her neck that she will wear all times. For the ‘vivah-havan’, the sacred fire is lighted by the ‘agni’/fire brought by the bride’s mother. In the ritual ‘laja-havan’, the bride’s brother or maternal uncle slips silver toe-rings on her toes and the couple walks around the fire with the end of her sari and his ‘shalu’/shawl tied in a sacred knot. Handfuls of ‘Laja’ or puffed rice is given to the bride and she offers it to the fire.

In the concluding ceremony, ‘havan-purnavati’ the couple is pronounced husband and wife.

Chautanan, a post wedding ritual, is a series of light hearted, fun-filled symbolic ceremonies. The bride makes the nuptial bed and keeps two new saris and two coconuts on it after which they feed each other a banana. In ‘Vore Ubarches’ the bride’s maternal uncle lifts the groom and his wife lifts the bride and they take a few steps carrying them.

In another fun-filled custom, a ring is dropped into a water-filled deep vessel and the bride and the groom search for it. The person who finds the ring first has to put it on the other one’s finger.

Then ‘tulsi puja’ and ‘puja’ for coconut palm are performed followed by a meal prepared by the bride served to all. The wedding ceremony comes to an end with the ‘mandal -viarjan’ in which the couple touches the elders’ feet for their blessings.

When the couple arrives at the groom’s house the groom’s sisters sit on the doorstep blocking the bride’s entry. Only when they are properly bribed the bride is allowed to enter. With her right foot she tips over a small cup of rice and her mother-in-law welcomes her with a brief ‘mangal aarti’ and she starts calling her new daughter-in- law by a new name.