Indian Wedding

The Syrian Christians of Kerala, the southernmost state in India, were originally Namboodiri Brahmins whose conversion took place while St. Thomas visited India around AD 46. Their church is known as the Syrian Orthodox Church and its head, Catholicos, resides in Kottayam, a Kerala town. Though embraced Christianity, the Syrian Christians retained many of their Hindu cultures and still follow several old traditions in their weddings. A typical Syrian Christian wedding, an elaborate affair, is arranged by the elders with the bride’s family making the initial proposal to the groom’s people.

Once the proposal is accepted by the groom’s people, ‘Kalyanamurappu’ (arranging the wedding between the boy and the girl) takes place. Male members from the boy’s family go to the girl’s place to fix a wedding date convenient to both. Both families take a decision about the ‘streedhanam’ (dowry in the form of money, clothes, property or jewelry) that the bride will be given at the time of wedding after which she will never make any claims on her father’s wealth.
When this agreement is accepted by the two families, two eldest members from each hold hands in a symbolic clasp and the contract is sealed by covering their hands with an ‘angavastram’ (a white cloth). The respective churches announce the engagement for three consecutive Sundays while the members of the two families and their community are present. The boy and the girl, on the third Sunday, go to their respective churches to take part in the confession and the Holy Communion.
The pre-wedding ceremony, ‘madhuramvekkal’, held a day before the church wedding, is performed separately in the houses of the bride and groom. The ceremonies are similar for both, except one or two. For this, a barber is called to cut the groom’s hair and shave off his beard while the groom sits facing east afterwhich the groom’s eldest sister or female cousin applies oil to his hair, accompanied by a lot of bantering and teasing. Then the groom’s brother-in-law leads him for his bath insisting that he should take it from the westerly direction. After bath the groom comes out from the easterly direction with his brother-in-law holding an umbrella over his head. When he arrives all the women clap their hands and make a noise called ‘korava’, considered very auspicious by all Keralites.
In the meanwhile, in her house the bride sits in an ordinary sari while her brother’s wife anoints her with oil and takes her for the bath exactly in the same manner as performed for the groom. After bath she wears a splendid silk sari, puts on traditional jewelry and a gold chain with a cross on it and decorates her hair with flowers.
After the ‘korava’ is performed, the bride and groom, in their respective houses, sit on a chair with their heads covered. The chairs on which they sit are covered with a white cloth. The priest bless them while a sweet called ‘madhuram’ (pieces of banana fruit soaked in the sweet juice of Palmyra palm) is brought also to be blessed by the priest. The mother or grandmother of the bride and groom feeds this blessed sweet to them.
On the wedding morning in the church, the groom will present a beautiful sari, known as the ‘mantrakodi’ to his bride. In the night before the church ceremony, the groom’s sister draws strands of thread from this sari and twists them to form a cord on which the ‘taali’ known as ‘minnu’, a gold pendant in the shape of a leaf with a cross inscribed on it, is tied.
On the wedding day the priest makes a visit to the houses of the bride and groom separately to bless them. The groom carries the ‘mantrakodi’ sari, the ‘taali/minnu’ and two wedding bands. After receiving blessings from the priest the bride and groom move out of their house with a young girl holding a ‘diya’/lamp in the front.
In the church the wedding rituals are officiated by the priest and after the sermon the bride and groom exchange wedding bands. Throughout the ceremony the bride’s sister stands behind her. Wedding vows are exchanged between the couple and the groom ties the ‘minnu/taali’ around her neck during which the groom’s sister takes the place of the bride’s sister. ‘Taali’ gives the marital status to an Indian lady. The priest places the ‘mantrakodi’ sari on the bride’s head and blesses it. The groom and bride join hands and are declared man and wife.
For the wedding ceremony, the bride wears an off-white silk sari with a wide border embellished with gold embroidery work and glittering stones and a chic blouse in the same material. Her sari ‘pallu’ acts as a veil or she wears a separate veil over her head. She has only very little jewelry on her body, one or two necklaces, five or six bangles on each wrist, a ring on her finger and ear danglers. All these sparkling jewels are made of pure gold. The groom’s outfit consists of a traditional white dhoti and a white shirt.
After the wedding ceremony, the families involved host a grand reception for introducing the newly weds to the guests. Here, the smiling bride is the cynosure of all with her brightly colored gorgeous ‘Mantrakodi’ silk sari and dazzling gold jewelry.

The UP Kayast Bride

The outfits of a UP Kayast bride are an expensive fabulous Banaras silk or any other silk or chiffon sari with beautiful zari embroidery works and a chic matching blouse or a heavily embroidered ‘lehenga-choli and a matching ‘dupatta, the preferred colors being red, magenta and bright pink or yellow. She wears gold jewelry such as necklaces, rings on fingers, ears and nose, lot of bangles on the wrists, anklets and toe-rings known as ‘bichua’. Traditional ‘Kundan jewelry (uncut rubies, emeralds and diamonds set in gold) are also popular among the Kayast brides.

Kerala, the southernmost state of India, is very different from other Indian states in many ways. Keralites, popularly known as Malayalis, even though educationally and culturally very much advanced, are very simple in every field. This simplicity is visible in their wedding as well.

Pre, during and post wedding rituals are very less and all the traditional rites and rituals will be over within a short time.

A typical Malayali Brahmin wedding begins with the exchange of the horoscopes of the boy and the girl by their parents and their family astrologers compare the horoscopes to see whether they are matching. If the horoscopes agree with one another the astrologer and the elders of both families finalize the “Muhurtham” or the auspicious date and time for the wedding.

The engagement ceremony, popularly known as “Nischayam” is the date fixed by the elders to announce the day of the wedding to the family members and friends. The presence of the prospective bride and groom is not necessary on this occasion.

A dinner, the traditional feast known as “Sadya” is served the day prior to the wedding at the bride’s place where the bride is seated facing the east and she along with her family members is served a five-course vegetarian meal.

The wedding rites are very short with no religious compulsions. The costume of the bride is the traditional two piece sari known as “Mundu” worn in their traditional style or any other expensive silk sari of her choice. The off-white ‘Mundu’ has very thick “kasavu/zari” border and the body also embroidered with golden thread. The blouse is made with a bright costly material, decorated with zari works. The bride wears a line of gold necklaces, specially a “Kasumala” around her neck and a lot of gold bangles in exquisite designs on her hands. Other jewelry includes stone-studded rings for fingers, silver or gold “Padaswarams”/anklets and arm bands. Her hair is adorned with plenty of natural flowers like jasmine. The groom arrives at the bride’s ancestral house in a ‘dhoti’ worn in their traditional style and an ‘Uttareeyam’, a piece of cloth, draped over his shoulders, complimented with gold chain, bracelets and finger rings.

The marriage ceremony is performed in a north-western room. The bride’s father welcomes the groom by washing his feet. The groom gives an off white ‘Mundu’ or sari to him, the groom’s gift to his bride. It is in this sari that the bride appears for the wedding rites.
The wedding ceremony known as “Veli” is conducted around the ‘agni’ or sacred fire. The couple makes three circles around the ‘agni’ after which the groom ties the “Mangalasutra/Taali, strung on a yellow cord, around the bride’s neck. In a ceremony known as “Kanyadaanam” or “Penkodal” the bride’s father gives her hand to the groom, symbolizing the change over of the responsibility.

In the ceremony “Sparsham” the groom sits in front of the bride and tilting his head backwards he tries to touch the bride’s forehead, symbolizing the joining of minds. Then the bride offers puffed rice known as “Laja” to the fire in the midst of chanting of various mantras. Keeping her palms in his hands she does the “homam”, the offering to the fire, after which lifting the bride’s right foot the groom places it on the “Ammi”, a grinding stone, an indication of breaking ties from her family. The groom then with his hand moves her foot seven times forward that symbolizes her entry into his family.

Soon after the wedding an elaborate vegetarian meal is served and then the couple leaves the bride’s house for the groom’s place, preceded by lamps in what is called “Kudicep”. When they reach the groom’s house the bride is welcomed by a ritual termed as “Grihapravesham”.

Indian weddings/Hindu weddings are very bright colorful events, full of rituals and celebrations that last for several days. These weddings are not small affairs, often attended by 400-1000 people most of whom are not known to the couples even. The actual Indian wedding is about two families socially getting wedded with much less emphasis on the individuals involved. Most of the marriages are arranged and conducted with the blessings of elders though there is a growing tendency to have love marriages, especially in urban areas.
India is a vast land of different states; each has its own traditions and cultures as evident in the various rituals followed in the wedding ceremony. The different cultures have borrowed each others practices of rituals, but retain certain unique practices strictly to themselves.
Rich costumes and jewelry play a very significant role in Indian weddings. Brides wear different types of clothes, jewelry and embellishments in different parts of India. Usually the bride wears attires typical of that area. While a Rajasthani bride is seen in an expensive bright lehenga, a Punjabi bride wears a fabulous salwar-kameez and a Maharashtrian bride is attired in a long embellished nine-yard sari, But the latest trend is to wear a traditional six-yard beautiful sari, usually in shades of red, pink or mustard, as the bride’s costume. Like the costume, bride’s jewelry also varies according to the tradition of each region. A bride is decorated with as much traditional jewelry as her family can muster because on the wedding day she is considered as the incarnate of Goddess Lakshmi, the harbinger of wealth to her new house. The common ornaments worn by a bride are necklaces, bangles, earrings, a nose-ring, anklets, rings and toe-rings usually made out of gold and studded with beautiful stones and pearls. Ornaments such as armlets, tikas, hathaphula and waistbands, though traditionally important, have become optional now and not worn in all parts. Traditionally, the bride was decorated with natural beauty aids, such as henna, to give red color to palms and feet, kajal to line the eyes and scented water to sprinkle on her. But today most brides in urban and even in rural areas have turned to branded cosmetics and perfumes. For South Indian brides flowers are still an important adornment while the North Indian counterparts have now re-started to wear this pretty custom.
Though the wedding rituals vary traditionally in different parts certain rituals are followed by all. These include kanyadan, a ceremony in which the bride’s parents hand over their daughter to the groom and his family, tying mangalsutra around the bride’s neck by the groom, Saptapadi, the seven steps taken by the couple together soon after tying the mangalsutra and Vidai- the traditional send-off of the couple after the wedding, an emotional moment for the bride’s side.
Weddings in any part of India are marked with a lot of revelry, fun and fanfare. The wedding arena assumes a festive look with illumination, decorations and entertainments like music, dance etc all through the ceremony. To top all, the grand wedding feast is served with the traditional, local and other favorite Indian cuisines.