Indian Wedding

Bihar, an Eastern state, is one of the very backward regions in India. Though Biharis are generally quite liberal they stick to their traditions in every aspect. They are not inhibited by any artificial pomp and show and they are very proud of the rustic touch of their roots. A real traditional Bihari wedding usually

lasts for a month, but these days Biharis have reduced it to a minimum of five days affair.

Any Hindu Bihari wedding commences with ‘Satyanarayan Katha’, a ‘puja’/prayer performed by the groom’s parents along with the groom, under the guidance of a “Punditji”/priest. All the attending family members should observe fast. The “havan”/sacred fire is given out on the last day when the wedding rituals are completed.

The ritual “Haldi Kutai”, involves groom’s mother and other “suhagins”(ladies not widowed) grinding whole turmeric to a paste that is sent to the bride for the ritual ‘ubtan’.

An auspicious day is fixed for “Cheka”, the engagement ceremony, wherein 5, 7, 9, or 11 members from the groom’s family along with the groom go to the bride’s house with gifts, known as “Chekas” and the bride and groom exchange rings. Another day the bride’s family repeats this ritual for the groom.

In the ritual “Shagun” the bride’s priest, accompanied by her brother, the ‘hajaam’/barber, and four other members takes auspicious gifts for the groom’s family. The bride’s brother applies ‘tilak’/’teeka’ on the groom’s forehead to signify the bride’s family accepting the wedding. The brother brings a lot of pleasantries for the entire groom’s family like vessels, clothes, jewelry etc. Haldi paste, specially made by the bride’s mother, is brought in a silver bowl to be applied on the groom. “Tilak” is the biggest ceremony held by the groom’s party, equivalent to a wedding reception.

“Madva Bandhana”, the making of the wedding “mandap” held separately at both houses must be performed on the same day as the ‘haldi ka din’.

“Lagan Mahurat” is the day selected by the priest to begin all the wedding rituals. This day the bride puts on an old sari and the married ladies of her family smear “uptan’ (a paste of mustard seeds, milk, saffron and turmeric) on her body and hands. After some time the ‘uptan’ is washed off and turmeric paste is applied on her body for a few hours. This ritual is done to the groom as well.

On the wedding morning once again the ‘haldi’/turmeric paste ceremony is performed for the bride and the groom to beautify and purify their bodies after which they are dressed up and decorated for the “Jaimala” ceremony.

“Dhritdhari” and “Matripoojan” are two rituals performed to seek the forgiveness and blessings of the dead ancestors and seek the same from the living elders respectively. The groom’s parents give “paun-pooji” in the form of clothes or cash to the elders for coming and blessing them.

“Silpoha” is a ladies’ ritual, held in the early morning of the wedding day wherein the groom’s mother in her “Chunri”/shawl”, along with her mother-in-law or her husband’s elder brother’s wife (not widows) grinds “akshat” or rice on a flat grinding stone. While grinding they ask the blessings of the Gods and the spirits of the ancestors. Yet another ritual “Imli-Ghutai”, performed by the groom’s maternal uncle and aunt just before the “paricchavan”, is to drive away evil omens and to caution the groom not to indulge in any form of vices. The uncle feeds a betel leaf to the groom, but the groom keeps it between his teeth while his mother takes it and eats it herself to signify that the mother will accept all the evil omens falling on him upon herself.

“Paricchavan” is done by the groom’s mother by showing an “Aarti’ to drive away all the bad omens falling on her son and she puts the ‘Tilak’ on his forehead and blesses him for an auspicious beginning.

Now the groom gets ready for the “Baraat Prasthan”/wedding procession in a decorated car, accompanied by ‘sahwala’/best friend, usually his younger brother. The groom’s car proceeds to the wedding venue followed by music and dancing by family members and friends. At the entrance of the venue the groom’s family members are garlanded by their counterparts from the bride’s side. The groom, seated in the car, is welcomed by the bride’s priest who applies a ‘Tilak’ on his forehead and helps him out of the car. The bride’s father escorts the groom to a decorated chair reserved for him.

The bride is now brought to the wedding altar where she performs an “Aarti” of the groom and the couple exchange garlands. Before the wedding rites the bride’s mother and the other married women hold the “Galsedi” ceremony. The mother carries a plate containing a small lighted lamp, betel leaves and small lumps of cow dung. One by one, all the women heat the betel leaves on the lamp and foments the groom’s face, forehead and eyes at least five times each, using their left hands only. The remaining women, together, throw the lumps of cow dung behind the groom.

The bride’s brother or brother-in-law escorts the groom to the ‘mandap’/altar for “Kangna Bandhana” ceremony for which the bride wears a yellow silk sari with zari/gold borders without any jewelry on her body. The ‘pujari/priest ties the bracelets made of mango leaves, raw cotton thread, colored rice, turmeric and money, on the couple’s right hands. The next four days they have to wear this symbolic bracelet. The barber, present in the ‘mandap’, now cuts the fingernails and toenails of the couple.

In the “kanyadaan” ceremony the bride’s father stretches out his right hand and the mother places her right hand on it. Then the groom keeps his right hand on the top of the mother’s and finally the bride, holding a conch, places her right hand on the groom’s. The priests chant the mantras all the while and this way the parents give away their beloved daughter to the groom securing an assurance that he will take the full responsibility of his wife. After this the groom retires to his room and the bride changes her dress for the”Kanya nirakshan” where she is introduced to the groom’s relatives.

The traditional outfits of a Bihari bride are an expensive fabulous sari and a chic blouse. The dominant colors in the bridal sari are red and yellow. The silk or chiffon sari has enchanting zari embroidery works. The tight-fitting matching blouse enhances the beauty of the sari. She covers her head with the “pallu” of the sari. The bridal jewelry includes “tikli”, a small gold ornament adorning her forehead at the hair parting. Bihari brides prefer jewelry with elaborate designs and gaudy looks. She wears such gold ornaments in every part of her body, such as necklaces around the neck, rings on fingers, ear and nose, lot of bangles on the hands and anklets around ankles. “Bichwa” or toe-ring is a must for Bihari bride.

When the bride, in the wedding sari sent by the groom’s parents, enters the altar the priest seats her beside the groom and chants mantras to purify the couple. The priest conducts all the important ‘pujas’-the “Kuldevta puja”, to invoke all the other Hindu deities and another special ‘puja’, known as the “damad/son-in-law ki ‘puja. The priest then wants the couple to take a series of vows and makes the sun, moon, stars, earth and sky as witnesses to this union of the couple.

The couple takes seven ‘pheras’/circles around the sacred fire, lighted outside the ‘mandap’. As they walk around the fire the bride gently throws into the fire “lave” (roasted husked rice) from a ‘soop’, a 3-sided conical cane basket, she holds while her brother refills the ’soop’ with fresh ‘lava’. After the ‘pheras’ the groom applies sindoor/vermilion powder on the bride’s forehead, starting from the topmost point of her nose to the parting of hair. The groom repeats this minimum five times while the bride’s eyes remain closed through out this act. To attain the marital status, she also wears “taagpaag”/”mangalsutra”-a sacred thread with gold and black beads- around her neck. Now that all the wedding rituals are over and the couple is truly married, the bride and the groom are escorted to the beautifully decorated bridal chamber.

On the fourth day of the wedding, amidst chanting of mantras, the priest removes the bracelets from the right hands of the couple (“Kangna Kholna” ceremony”). The groom takes his new wife to his house after two days or the “kangna kholna” ceremony. After a couple of days, the bride’s brother or brother-in- law invites her and the groom to her parents house to stay for a few days with gifts for the couple and the in-laws and they go back with him carrying return gifts for the bride’s family.

The North-Eastern Indian state, Manipur is blessed with a rich cultural heritage and verdant scenic beauty. The word ‘Manipur’ means the land of gems. This tribal state is famous for its colorful festivals and other traditions. Mostly this land is occupied by tribal folks and these folks spread in the neighboring states as well.

Their weddings are as colorful and spectacular as their traditions. All the tribes follow almost similar rituals with slight variations in the customs and costumes. People of Manipur prefer weddings in their own community, but are not opposed to inter caste marriages outside Manipuri community too.

Among the tribes “Magh”, young men and women select their partners at the grand New Year Festival when they get an opportunity to know each other closely and inform their parents and seek their approval. Young girls from the tribes Garo, Tippra, Khasia and Magh often go to the market to buy and sell goods. The boys and girls use this opportunity to know each other closely, choose their partners and with the consent and blessings of the parents get married. Young men and women of the tribes “Santal”, “Garo” and “Manipuri”, while working in the fields together, come to know and understand each other well and are able to select their life partners.

Manipuri weddings are held according to the customs and traditions. In the starting approach, known as “Hinaba”, the boy’s parents visit the girl’s house and meet her parents. The horoscopes of the boy and the girl are matched. If both the parents agree the nest meeting, termed as “Yathang Thanaga”, is fixed. In this meeting the parents of the girl give their consent for the wedding. In the next ritual, “Waroipot puba”, the boy’s relatives bring food items and finally contract for the wedding is sealed. Then the engagement, known as “Heijapot” is announced among the friends and relatives. The groom’s friends and relatives bring fruits, food and gifts to the bride’s house. The relatives and friends are invited and the Brahmin priest finalizes the wedding date and rituals.

A “Manipuri” wedding party puts up a grand spectacular show, but very little is spent on feasts. Usually a wedding in a “Meitei “house in Imphal, the capital city of Manipur, is attended by not less than thirty cars. When a wedding is attended by a convoy of cars it is considered as a status symbol. The men come in dhoti and kurta and a shawl wrapped around while their women come in pink “fanek” and “chader”.

Manipuris erect beautiful and spacious wedding “Pandals”/sheds in which the bride and groom walk around to be greeted with paddy and “durva” grass. For the reception ceremony, at the entrance a “Meitei” woman offers a “thali” or plate with a banana leaf containing betel nut, betel leaves and “tamul”. Seats are provided around a “Tulsi” platform. In every platform a ‘tulsi’, a sacred plant, is grown over a raised platform around which all the auspicious ceremonies are performed.

The groom is given a warm welcome by lighting a “Pradip” and washing his feet by a young boy accompanied by the singing of “kirtan” and playing of traditional music. “Kirtans” and “shahnai” music are played while the couple completes the seven “pheras”/rounds, the bride taking the steps in a rhythmic style with the music.

One woman from each side releases a pair of “Taki” fish, representing the bride and groom, into the water. If the pair of fish swims side by side it is considered as an auspicious omen. Garos follow a similar ceremony in which a cock and hen with throats cut are left to the ground. If they come together to die it is taken as a good omen. Otherwise, to get rid of ill omen, remedy is done through payer and spell by a “khamal”, the mendicant.

Manipuries offer exceptionally special food to the Gods and other deities on this occasion. These people believe, by pleasing them, the Gods will bless the couple in abundance. On the fifth day after the wedding, the Manipuri bride comes to her parents’ house for the first time. All members of the clan are invited to this ritual and they all participate with gifts such as rice, meat, fowls, pigs, money or alcohol and a prolific feast is served to them.

The costume of a Manipuri bride is very unique; she wears the “Raslila” skirt on her wedding day. “Chakmas” brides wear red and black sarong called “Pindhan” along with a blouse called “silum”. “Magh” bride’s puts on a “thami”/sarong that covers the body from chest to knee over a full-sleeved jacket or choli.

Though a land or gold and gems, the “Maniprri” brides wear only a very limited variety of jewelry. In North Bengal the various tribal women wear almost similar ornaments. “Santal” and “Oraon” tribal women wear jewelry such as necklaces bangles, anklets, nose-rings and earrings. “Oraon” women put up their hair in a peak style and adorn their forehead with a jewelry called “tikli”. Brides of “Chakma” tribes wear necklaces, coin earrings, bangles and anklets. “Garo” brides do their hair style using a bun, adorned with flowers. “Magh” women brighten their faces with a kind of herbal powder or wood paste.

The bridegroom’s costme consists of a white dhoti, kurta and turban. Lower class “Garos”, even today, wear a small piece of cloth, just enough to conceal nudity. In the deep hilly forests the tribasl use leaves as their wedding dress. “Santal” groom’s outfits are called “Panchi”, “Panchatat” and “Matha”. The main wedding dress of the “Chakmas” is a “lungi” worn along with a shirt.

Maithil Brahmins belong to a region called Mithila lying between the lower regions of the Himalaya Mountains and the River Ganges in the North-Eastern India. These people are supposed to be the highest ranking caste and are politically very influential. They celebrate all the important Indian festivals with great enthusiasm and extravaganza. The same spirit and pomp are reflected in their weddings as well.

For a Maithil Brahmin, giving away a girl in marriage is like offering the gift to a God. The parents might love her dearly, but would not keep her in their house for a long time. When the daughter of a family attains the marriageable age her father starts looking for a suitable match for her. Maithil Brahmins take extra care in the process of match making. “Panjikars” or registrars would match the “panjis or horoscopes of the two families and ascertain there exists no blood match between the two families of the boy and girl down five or six generations to avoid any incest.

The Maithil Brahmin brides are dressed in dignified and fabulous traditional Indian saris. Mostly the saris are in red color, other glitzy colors are also in vogue. The bridal sari is either Banarasi silk or any other expensive quality decorated with rich zari works. She is adorned with all the traditional Indian jewelry studded with precious stones, like necklaces, bangles, earrings, nose-rings, toe-rings, rings, anklets etc.

The groom’s attire consists of cultural dhoti and kurta and a customary headgear known as the “pag” in red color. The men in “barati”/wedding procession wear yellow or white “pag”.

Rituals before wedding include “Siddhant” or the match-making wherein the astrologers of both families fix an auspicious date for the wedding after carefully consulting the Maithil “Panchang” or lunar calendar. The “Panjikar/astrologer makes a letter called “Patra” in which the wedding between the girl and the boy is confirmed.

On the wedding day the women of the bride’s house wait for the arrival of the groom at the courtyard. A small “Kalash” or pitcher decorated with “Amra pallav”/mango leaves and “kumkum”/vermilion powder etc and an ox yoke are placed in the center of the courtyard. Men and women, having different ritual responsibilities, wait separately for the groom’s arrival. The women of the bride’s family give a warm reception to the groom while the bride’s assistant, “Vidkari” welcomes the groom by applying sandal paste on his forehead. Then the groom, after bath, changes his “dhoti” and the “jenu”(sacred thread).

Maithil Brahmins follow a strange custom in which the bride seeks the blessings of the ‘dhobi’s or washerman’s wife who dies before her husband and always remains a “suhagin”, one who never becomes a widow. A little bit of yoghurt is touched to the hair of the washerman’s wife and the bride too is given a little yoghurt to eat.

Now, both the bride and groom visit the “Kuldevi” shrine, the lineage Goddess of her family. It is only this moment that the groom ever enters this shrine, In the “Gauri Puja” performed there the bride thanks Goddess Gauri for blessing her with a husband like Lord Shiva. The Goddess is symbolically represented by a betel nut kept on the head of a clay elephant.

“Otangar” is another important ritual in which eight Brahmins pound rice, an indication of the belief that marriage mixes and combines seed or bloodlines joining “patri”-lineages in innovative ways. The groom also participates in the ritual ‘Otangar’.

“Nana Yogin” or Grand mother Yogi is a very popular ritual wherein the women place flowers, betel leaves etc on a tray which is used to make “Aarti” of the groom.

In the actual wedding ceremony the bride and groom sit in front of the sacred flame made of sandalwood and ghee. A Brahmin “Pujari”/priest performs all the wedding rites. In “Kanyadaan” the bride’s father takes the groom’s hands and places his daughter’s hand in them followed by the “Saptapathi” rite wherein the couple makes seven circles around the sacred fire, the seven steps symbolizing the first seven steps of their wedding life.

After the wedding rites the groom applies ‘sindur’/vermilion powder at the parting of the bride’s hair. This ‘sindur’ will remain there as long as her husband lives. “Ghungat” is an interesting ritual in which the groom veils his wife’s head for the first time and her brother unveils her, This indicates the dual lives of a woman, one in her parent’s house and the other-veiled one-in her husband’s place.

In the ritual “Durbakschat”, held on the wedding day or the next day, Brahmin men toss husked rice at the couple wishing them wealth and prosperity. Women, in the ritual “Chumaon”, move a tray containing cultural things over the couple. Such multi-color wedding rites last for four days at the end of which the bride says farewell to her family and friends and leaves for her new house along with her husband.

The “Kayast” or “Kayastha” is a community found in many North Indian states and they follow almost similar customs and rituals in their weddings with slight variations in the ceremonies depending upon the state in which they have been living for many generations.

“Bariksha”, the alliance, is a pre-wedding ritual in which the bride’s people send a silver bowl full of rice, turmeric, and “supari”/betel nut to the groom’s house along with an envelope containing some cash when the parents of the boy and the girl agreed for the wedding between their son and daughter. This ritual acts as a confirmation for the alliance.

As for “Sagai” or formal engagement, the groom’s family members come to the bride’s house with gifts like clothes, jewelry and the engagement ring for the bride. The boy’s mother places the gift items in the bride’s “Kodi”/sari “pallu” and applies “tikka”/vermilion on her forehead.

Haldi and “Tel”/oil bath and beautification rituals signify the purification of the bride’s/groom’s mind, body and soul before entering the path of marriage. The older women of the family apply oil on the bride’s face, arms and legs. “Upton”, a paste made of pure vegetable oils, fresh milk, curds, henna and turmeric is also applied on her face, arms and legs followed by her sisters or cousins taking her for bath. The same ritual is performed for the groom in his house.

In the “Tilak” ceremony, all the bride’s relatives go to the groom’s house with clothes, jewelry, gifts, fruits, sweetmeats and the “tilak” paste made of rice and vermilion. These gift items are placed in the “puja”/prayer room or in front of the family deity and the bride’s family members bless the groom by applying the ‘tilak”/vermilion on his forehead.

Mehendi is a mega event in which professional mehendi artist makes intricate beautiful designs on the hands and feet of the bride using henna paste. In the Uttar Pradesh “Kayasth” community even the groom’s hands are decorated with henna designs. It is a joyous occasion for both the family members to sing, dance and eat,

On the day of the “Bhaat” the bride’s maternal uncle visits her house
with saris, jewelry and other gift items and gives them to his sister and niece. He even hosts a lunch for the groom’s family and gives them gifts.

Now the groom gets ready for the “Baraat”/wedding procession, a very colorful and grand ceremony. He puts on the traditional white and “Achkan”, a long jacket with a Nehru collar and a tight bottom called “Churidars”. He also wears a “safa”/turban and a “kalgi” or brooch is pinned onto it while a sword or dagger is tucked in the waistband. Before he leaves for the wedding venue all his family members apply “tikka”/vermilion on his forehead. The groom uses a beautifully decorated car for the ‘Baraat’ these days.

At the entrance of the wedding venue, groom’s party is given a warm reception by the bride’s people; especially her mother applies a “tikka”/vermilion on the groom’s forehead as a welcome gesture. The bride’s female relatives and friends escort her to the wedding hall and before stepping into the “mantap”/altar the bride and groom exchange garlands. This ritual, known as “Jaimala”, signifies their acceptance of each other as life partner. Now the wedding rites begin with the couple, their parents and the Brahmin “Pujari”/Priest who performs the wedding rites, are seated at the ‘mantap’/altar.

The priest lights the “havan”/sacred fire in the midst of chanting of Vedic mantras. All the auspicious wedding rituals are held in front of “Agni Devta” or God of Fire. The parents of the bride and groom offer “puja”/prayers to Lord Ganesha and other deities; so that the couple can fulfill the aims of life, “Dharma”/duty, “Artha”/worldly prosperity and “Kama”/physical desires. The ‘pujari’/priest, chanting mantras, adds pure ghee or butter, wood and “samaghri”/a mixture of pure butter, grains of rice and herbs, to the holy fire.

In the “Kanyadaan” ceremony, the bride, groom and the bride’s parents stand in front of the fire. The parents of the bride join their left hands while the groom keeps his right hand over theirs and the bride then keeps her right hand over the groom’s right hand. Now the parents lock their right palms and keep them over the couple’s hands. At this moment the bride’s father asks the groom whether he is prepared to accept his daughter as his wife and whether he will discharge the duties of a responsible husband. The groom accepts and the parents give away their daughter to him by chanting the names of the fathers and forefathers of both families.

After ‘kanyadaan’, end of the groom’s scarf is tied to the bride’s sari pallu “or “dupatta”/veil. This marital knot signifies the coming together of the couple. Next ritual is the promises made between the bride and the groom sitting in front of the; havan;/sacred fire followed by the couple making seven pheras/circles around the fire and taking their seven wedding vows. In the first three pheras, the bride walks first around the fire while during the next four pheras the groom leads her. The “Pujari”/priest continues with recital of the mantras and offering “samaghri” to the fire all through the pheras.

The most touching ceremony, “Bidaai” or the bridal send off is filled with emotionally charged moments when the bride bids tearful farewell to her family and friends. She begins her journey to the new house in a decorated car along with her life partner and her brother or any male relative from her family.

At the entrance of her new house, the bride’s mother-in-law receives her by performing the traditional “Aarti” and leads her to the family “Puja”/prayer room where she is seated in front of family deity. Finally she sits in a room, her head uncovered, when the relatives come and get acquainted with her and give lovely GIFTS.

Though Buddhism originated in India the pomp and gaiety usually found in Indian weddings are missing in Buddhist weddings. The weddings are very simple, devoid of any complex rites or rituals. The most welcome part about these weddings is that they are less inclined on religion, but more on faith. Even though the wedding is short, lacks colorful and interesting rituals, it will surely be a wonderful, memorable experience for the participant.

There are two parts in a typical Buddhist wedding, one is Buddhist component, offering prayers and gifts to the monks and the Buddha image and the other is non-Buddhist component, having traditional practices observed by the families of the couple.

In the Buddhist religion either the parents or the boy himself will select the prospective bride. After selecting a particular girl, a family friend is sent to the girl’s house with a bottle of whisky and a “Khada”, a white silk scarf, to offer. This type of visit called “Khachang” is to know whether the girl’s people show any inclination to the alliance. If they agree both the family members meet and compare “kikas”/horoscopes to set a good date for the formal engagement known as “Nangchang”. Tradition insists that the boy gives a gift to his would-be wife; the gift might be even as big as a land. The colors of the wedding costume of the bride and the groom is also decided by comparing the horoscopes, the preferred colors being red and gold.

In the ‘Nangchang’, presided over by a ‘Lama’ or “rimpoche”, the maternal uncles of both families play significant roles in the marriage negotiations. The bride’s maternal uncle is made to sit on an elevated platform and the priest recites prayers and distributes a holy drink, “madyan” to all present followed by fixing the wedding date after consultation with the astrologer. The uncle and siblings have important roles on the boy’s side while the whole family, friends and the uncle join the occasion on the girl’s side. A suitable day for the girl’s departure from her parent’s house is also decided at this moment.

The Buddhist wedding ceremony is usually conducted in a temple or Buddhist shrine. The bride is seen in a costume called “Bhaku”that is made of brocade and almost similar to a sarong, but it has full length. She wears along with it a sleeved blouse, “Hanju”, made of Chinese silk material called “Khichen”. The other bridal accessories are a special coat and a scarf. The bride wears some strange pieces of jewelry termed as “Khan” made of large precious and semi-precious stones like turquoise, coral, pearl etc. Traditional family brides wear this jewelry around their neck and also on the forehead. Heavy gold bracelets adorn her arms. The jewelry is mostly of pure gold or gold plated. The groom’s attire also consists of a beautiful ‘Bhaku’ made of brocade, the length of which just reaches above the ankles. The “Bhaku” is worn with a waistcoat, “Lajha”. He wears a cap made of brocade and a sash around the waist.

The bride and groom begin the wedding ceremony by bowing in front of the Buddha image, followed by the couple reciting some prayers and chants, the “Tisarana”, “Pancasila” and the “Vandhana” in “Pali”, the Buddhist language. The bride and groom are then, asked to light incense sticks and candles and offer flowers to the image of the Buddha and around it. Now they are told to recite one after the other the vows that are prescribed for each separately in the “Sigilovdd Sutta” (Digha Nikilya). After this the parents or the assembly recite the “Mangala Sutta” and “Jayamangala Gadha”, their blessings for the newly weds.

The parents of the bride and groom connect them by placing a loop of strings on the couple’s heads. The newly weds offer flowers, food, sweets, medicines etc to the monks. Sometimes, as a token, certain amount of money is also given to the shrine. The priest keeps a thread on the heads of the monks and recites prayers in ‘Pali” to bless the newly wedded couple with an everlasting happy and healthy married life. The string is attached to a container that will be purified after the wedding. A red paste is also applied to the couple’s foreheads.

As for the bride’s departed ceremony it is often seen the couple opting to stay in the bride’s house or she can leave her parent’s house for her husband’s place any day within the ten days after the wedding or they could even stay separately away from their families.

Buddhist weddings are not very formal, but their form has undergone a lot of changes. Initially monks never used to attend the weddings, but in recent weddings the monks play a significant and profound role. All the wedding rituals will be over within half an hour. Even though the wedding process is simple and short the invitees have loads of enjoyment during the wedding ceremony. After the wedding ceremony the couple and the guests proceed to the reception.

Some unique customs mark the Buddhist weddings. When the boy’s people arrive at the girl’s house they are given a strange welcome. It is their custom that a pot of water, flowers, bamboo sticks are arranged in a typical manner and the entrance is decorated with leaves for good luck. The girl’s sisters give a prickly welcome to the boy and his friends by throwing nettle leaves, thorns etc on them. The groom denies entry into the hall till he gives them suitable presents or money.

Arya Samaj, a Hindu Reform Movement, was founded in India by Swami Dayananda in 1875. “Make This World Noble” is the first and foremost aim of the Samaj. The rituals of the Arya Samaj wedding are not elaborate, though the rites are few they are very rich in significance. A unique feature of this wedding is that the meaning of the Vedic mantras/hymns, chanted during the process, is explained to the couple so that the importance of the hymns is not wasted. Any one from any religion can opt for an Arya Samaj wedding and the pre and the post-wedding rituals are performed on the regional and cultural basis of the couples. The Arya Samajis give utmost priority to “Agni”/fire worship in their weddings and the rituals are performed with “Agni”/fire as the main witness. The weddings emphasize the change of the couple from “Brahmacharya ashram”, the state of celibacy to Grihastrashram”, the life of married people.
Pre-wedding rituals include a music session held at the bride’s house a few days prior to the wedding. Bride’s girl friends and female relatives participate in this session, singing folk and wedding songs.
Mehendi ceremony, performed on the eve of wedding at the bride’s house, has a friend or mehendi artist applying henna/mehendi on the bride’s hands and feet in beautiful and intricate designs. Henna is applied on the hands of the female friends and relatives too.
“Brahmbhoj”, feeding sixteen Brahmins on the morning of the wedding, is considered very auspicious by the Arya Samajis. On the wedding day, the bride’s maternal uncle puts on red ivory bangles on her wrists and helps her wear a large circular nose ring/’nath’, a ritual practiced by North Indians, like the Punjabis.
Usually the bride wears a resplendent red or any bright color sari she selects for her wedding, but she can opt for a flowing flare lehenga-choli or a chic-stylish salwaar-kameez depending upon the customs of the state she belongs. Similarly there is no compulsion for her to wear a particular set of jewelry. She prefers to wear the traditional gold ornaments of her state such as necklaces, bangles, earrings, noserings, anklets, toerings etc.
The groom also wears the costume of his choice like dhoti-kurta, kurta-pyjamas or dhoti-angavastram. He may or may not wear a turban.
The wedding ceremony starts in an Arya Samaj wedding hall with the exchange of garlands between the bride and the groom. She gives him a pitcher of water with which he washes his feet, hands and lastly face, showing how a good wife should welcome her husband. Next the bride puts a mixture of curd, ghee and honey, an Ayurvedic medicine for any imbalances in the body, into the groom’s cupped hands and he scatters it in all directions and eats the remaining mixture, the ritual being known as “Madhupark se satkar.” This rite highlights the duties of a wife and a husband, how the wife should feed and nurture and the husband should provide for their family.
The groom is given the sacred thread to wear and the “Yagnya”, symbolizing the worship of fire, starts. In “Kanyadaan” the bride’s parents give away her to the groom’s family with the priest chanting Vedic mantras, repeated by the couple holding their hands together. At the end, the couple makes a “phera”/circle around the fire. “Pratigya Mantra” sees, holding hands together, the couple takes wedding vows and walks around the fire.
The ritual “Shilarohan” has the bride’s brother places her right foot on a stone while the groom chants mantras/hymns. He wants his sister’s married life be as strong, firm and steadfast as the stone and by offering puffed rice he assures her that she can take back plenty after each visit to her parents’ house. “Parikrama” is a ritual in which the couple makes four “pheras”/circles around the fire, the bride praying for her husband’s health and also for a happy healthy marital relationship with him. The groom, on his part, vows that he will show reverence and respect to all women.
“Kesh Mochan” is a unique ritual with the groom undoing his wife’s hair to let it fall down freely. In a mantra/hymn he promises that his actions would never hurt her and make her separate from him. “Saptapadikriya” involves tying the ends of the bride’s sari and the groom’s shawl and the seven steps taken by them, signifying the seven things essential for a peaceful happy married life.
The other important rituals are “Suryadarshan’-worship of sun by the couple, “Hriday Sparsh”-touching each other’s heart, an indication to be tender and kind with one another, “Sindoor Daan”-applying “kumkum”/vermilion along the parting of the bride’s hair by her husband three times and “Dhruv Darshan”-viewing the star “Dhruv”/The Pole Star, known for its constancy, by the couple and the Great Bear Constellation, made up of two stars-“Arundhati” and “Vasisht”, never separated from each other.
In the post-wedding ceremony, the sister-in-law removes the “chudha”/bangle worn by the bride on the wedding day after a couple of months (the actual time period is one month to one year depending on one’s custom) and she gifts her with another set of clothes and jewelry on the same DAY.

In Kerala, the Southern most state of India, most Hindus except the malayali Brahmins follow the same basic traditional customs with slight variations depending upon the caste and community in conducting their weddings. They are very simple with few rites and rituals.
Pre wedding rituals start with the comparison of the horoscopes of the boy and girl by their family astrologers and if they found matching an auspicious date for the engagement ceremony known as “Jathakam Kodukkal” is fixed, In the engagement ceremony, held at he bride’s residence, the official announcement of the wedding takes place before a gathering of close relatives and friends and the wedding date is also finalized. The presence of the groom and bride are not required.
Traditionally the weddings were conducted in the bride’s house, but now they are mostly held in temples (places of worship) or wedding halls, The wedding altar, “Kathirmandapam” is completely decorated with flowers and two tall “Nila Vilakku”, a lamp lighted by oil and thread, a tray of jasmine or rose flowers, and a “Kindi” a type of vessel with a spout having water in it, are placed at the entrance. “Para, a cylindrical wooden vessel used for measuring purposes, with full of paddy and a bunch of coconut flowers inserted in the midst of it, is also kept in the “mandapam”.
On the day prior to the wedding the “Mangalasutra”/”Alilathali” (a yellow thread intertwined with a strong gold thread having a tiny pendant in the shape of a banyan leaf) is kept before the deity of the Goddess in a temple and the priest offers ‘pooja’/prayer three times. On the wedding morning when the bride and a close relative like aunt, sister etc go to the temple the priest hands over the “thali” to the relative.
Before the wedding ceremony the bride’s brother gives a warm reception to the groom by washing his feet, sprinkling ‘panineer’/rose water and applying sandal paste to the forehead of the groom. He also gives the groom a lemon, garland and bouquet and escorts him to the ‘kathir mandapam’. At the entrance the groom is welcomed by 5, 7, or 9 girls showing “Ashtamangalyam”, a tray containing flowers, betel nuts, vermilion powder, an Indian coin and a small lighted lamp. The groom wears a white/off white “Mundu”,/Veshti/Dhoti and “Jubba”, a full-sleeved, close-neck top longer than a shirt with side slits.
The bride also receives the same kind of welcome when she arrives at the mandapam. Both the bride and groom offer flowers to the “Nila vilakku three times. The traditional wear of a bride is a two piece white/off white sari called “Set Mundu” with a thick zari border. But present brides wear very expensive Kancheepuam silk saris with thick zari border and the body embroidered with golden threads. The matching blouse/choli clings to the body making the bride more enchanting. The color of the sari could be either bright like red, maroon, magenta, deep green, navy blue, deep yellow etc or any pleasing light ones except white or black. She is adorned with traditional jewelry such as “Netti Chutti”, worn along the parting of the hair, golden “Jhimki and the supporting “Maattal” on the ears, stone studded “Tirukkuppu” on the hair at the back of the head and gold necklaces like “Nagapada thali”, “Palakka mala, “Laxmi thali and “Kasu mala”. The modern brides prefer “Palakka mala” designed in a different way, light-weight fashionable necklaces and “Pavan mala” of gold. She also wears plain and stone-studded bangles on both hands, gold “Padaswarams”/anklets and a gold hip chain/waist band embellished with stones and pearls.
The bride and groom are seated in the wedding altar, the bride on the left side of the groom, and the groom just places the ‘mangalasutra around her neck while the ritual is completed by the groom’s sister who ties the knots followed by the exchange of rings with the names of the bride and groom on them. Now occurs the most important ritual of the wedding, “Pudava Kodukkal” in which the groom offers a very expensive “Pudava” along with an equally dazzling sari to the bride and adorns her neck with a costly beautiful necklace. The couple exchanges garlands and in the “Kanyadaan, placing a betel leaf on the right hand of the groom the bride’s father keeps her right hand over it. The couple makes three “pheras”/circles around the ‘mandapam’ altogether. Before leaving the venue the groom’s mother gives a small box of vermilion powder to the groom and he applies a vermilion ‘sindoor’/’bindi’ to the bride’s forehead below the parting of the hair.
In the last ritual “Grahapravesh”, the couple proceeds to the groom’s house where the bride is received with an “Aarti” by her mother-in-law and she steps into the house with her right foot first.

The natives of the North Indian state Rajasthan, Rajputs, believe that they are the direct descendants of the Kshatriya clan, the original Aryans. The word “Rajput” means king’s son or prince and so one can see glimpses of royal touch in their weddings filled with richness and extravagance.
In the pre wedding rite ‘Tilak’ or the engagement ceremony, performed at the groom’s house and attended only by the male members of the bride’s family, the bride’s brother applies a “Tilak”/”Bindi” to the groom’s forehead so that the engagement becomes official. The gifts given to the groom include a sword, clothes, fruits and sweets.
“Ganapath Sthapana” the installation of an idol of Lord Ganesha and “Griha Shanthi”, performed to propitiate the Gods are also very important rituals.
“Pithi Dastoor,” is a ritual for the bride and the groom held in their respective houses. From seven days before the wedding, each day a paste of turmeric and oil applied to their faces, arms and feet till the wedding day. Once this ceremony begins they are banned to leave their houses.
During the Pithi Dastoor and through out the wedding ceremony women singers like ‘dholans’ with ‘dholaks’and ‘mehfils’ and male ‘mehfils’ sing various auspicious pre wedding and wedding songs for men and women separately in the homes of the bride and groom. The musical instruments like ‘Shehnai’ and ‘nagara’ are played in the courtyard or garden.
In the ceremony “Mahira dastoor” the maternal uncle of the bride or the groom gives clothes, jewelry and sweets to the whole family. “Janey” ceremony is important for the groom as he wears the sacred thread on the eve of his wedding, dressed in saffron. The “Padla dastoor”, a custom observed only by the Rajputs, is held a day prior to the wedding or on the wedding day wherein the groom’s relatives bring gifts like clothes, jewelry etc for the bride to wear during the wedding ceremony.
The bridal costume is a resplendent traditional Rajasthani “Poshak” for the wedding ceremony usually red in color, but orange, yellow, gold and pink ‘poshaks’ are also preferred. The bride wears certain traditional jewelry that have their own significance. The “Rakhri”, a circular piece worn on the forehead at the parting of the hair emphasizes that she should always be straight forward. Her ears have danglers that advise her never to listen to gossip. “Timaniyaan”, a choker encrusted with uncut diamonds indicate that she should always show humility by bowing her head. A set of ivory and gold bangles, ‘chudda’ tells her to help the poor and needy. She also wears gold and stone-studded “bajuband”/armlets, gold anklets reminding her to ‘put the right foot forward’, gold toe-rings known as “bichhiya” and a stone-studded “nath”/nose ring tells her to spend within what her husband can afford.
The Rajput ‘baraat’/wedding procession, an all male affair, has the groom dressed in a gold “achkan”, an orange turban decorated with a ‘sirpech’, a ‘churidar’ or jodhpurs and ‘jootis’/shoes that are highlighted with a necklace and a cummerbund. The groom proceeds to the wedding venue mounted on a decorated mare or elephant along with a child and sporting a sword. The male members from his family carrying swords and a band playing the hit songs accompany the groom.
The males in the bride’s family welcome the groom’s party and the groom is taken to the ladies section where bride’s mother receives him with the traditional “Aarti” and directs him to the wedding altar. A “Pujar”(Brahmin priest) officiates the wedding ceremony by lighting the sacred fire and chanting Vedic mantras/hymns. Tying the groom’s shawl to the bride’s ‘duppata’ or veil the couple walks around the fire seven times/seven ‘pheras’ at the end of which the groom adorns the bride’s wrist with green glass bangles. The bride all the while wears a veil over he face.
When the bride leaves her house for the “Grihapravesh” ceremony the groom’s family blesses her with showering flowers and coins. The bride enters the “Sasural”/father-in-law’s house with her right foot first followed by certain games between the bride and groom. In “Pagelagani” the veiled bride is introduced to all family members ending with the removal of the VEIL

Kerala, the southernmost state of India, is very different from other Indian states in many ways. Keralites, popularly known as Malayalis, even though educationally and culturally very much advanced, are very simple in every field. This simplicity is visible in their wedding as well. Pre, during and post wedding rituals are very less and all the traditional rites and rituals will be over within a short time.

A typical Malayali Brahmin wedding begins with the exchange of the horoscopes of the boy and the girl by their parents and their family astrologers compare the horoscopes to see whether they are matching. If the horoscopes agree with one another the astrologer and the elders of both families finalize the “Muhurtham” or the auspicious date and time for the wedding.

The engagement ceremony, popularly known as “Nischayam” is the date fixed by the elders to announce the day of the wedding to the family members and friends. The presence of the prospective bride and groom is not necessary on this occasion.

A dinner, the traditional feast known as “Sadya” is served the day prior to the wedding at the bride’s place where the bride is seated facing the east and she along with her family members is served a five-course vegetarian meal.

The wedding rites are very short with no religious compulsions. The costume of the bride is the traditional two piece sari known as “Mundu” worn in their traditional style or any other expensive silk sari of her choice. The off-white ‘Mundu’ has very thick “kasavu/zari” border and the body also embroidered with golden thread. The blouse is made with a bright costly material, decorated with zari works. The bride wears a line of gold necklaces, specially a “Kasumala” around her neck and a lot of gold bangles in exquisite designs on her hands. Other jewelry includes stone-studded rings for fingers, silver or gold “Padaswarams”/anklets and arm bands. Her hair is adorned with plenty of natural flowers like jasmine. The groom arrives at the bride’s ancestral house in a ‘dhoti’ worn in their traditional style and an ‘Uttareeyam’, a piece of cloth, draped over his shoulders, complimented with gold chain, bracelets and finger rings.

The marriage ceremony is performed in a north-western room. The bride’s father welcomes the groom by washing his feet. The groom gives an off white ‘Mundu’ or sari to him, the groom’s gift to his bride. It is in this sari that the bride appears for the wedding rites.
The wedding ceremony known as “Veli” is conducted around the ‘agni’ or sacred fire. The couple makes three circles around the ‘agni’ after which the groom ties the “Mangalasutra/Taali, strung on a yellow cord, around the bride’s neck. In a ceremony known as “Kanyadaanam” or “Penkodal” the bride’s father gives her hand to the groom, symbolizing the change over of the responsibility.

In the ceremony “Sparsham” the groom sits in front of the bride and tilting his head backwards he tries to touch the bride’s forehead, symbolizing the joining of minds. Then the bride offers puffed rice known as “Laja” to the fire in the midst of chanting of various mantras. Keeping her palms in his hands she does the “homam”, the offering to the fire, after which lifting the bride’s right foot the groom places it on the “Ammi”, a grinding stone, an indication of breaking ties from her family. The groom then with his hand moves her foot seven times forward that symbolizes her entry into his family.

Soon after the wedding an elaborate vegetarian meal is served and then the couple leaves the bride’s house for the groom’s place, preceded by lamps in what is called “Kudicep”. When they reach the groom’s house the bride is welcomed by a ritual termed as “Grihapravesham”.

Andhra Pradesh, one of the Southern Indian states, has a rich and varied cultural heritage and the Andhra/Telugu weddings are as zany and glitzy as the Hyderabad Palace. Most of the Indian weddings involve several colorful rituals and the Telugu wedding is not an exception.
Pre wedding rituals: The choosing of the auspicious time of the day, Muhurtam, for the wedding is done through a ceremony. Andhra weddings usually take place in the evening hours between 7pm-11pm. Pendlikoothuru, a ritual conducted a day or two before the wedding, has the bride and the groom smeared with oil and turmeric. After bath the girl wears a sari, bangles and flowers on her hair and the boy a dhoti. Mangala Snaanam, the auspicious bath, taken by the bride and the groom individually implies the physical purification before proceeding for the marriage. The Aarti ceremony is done by the family members applying oil to the bride and the groom and doing aarti around them to safeguard them from evil influences. After bath the bride worships the goddess Gouri and the groom at the same time performs the Ganesh Puja. Snathakam, an important ritual conducted a few hours before the actual wedding muhurtam, involves only the groom as he wears a silver thread on his body. Kashi Yatra or journey to Kashi is another interesting unique ritual done at the end of Snathakam wherein the groom says that he has renounced all worldly pleasures and is going to Kashi, a holy place in North India. At this the bride’s brother requests him to stay back and offers his sister in marriage.
The actual wedding begins with the bride’s maternal uncle carrying her in a bamboo basket to the mandap/wedding altar. The bride looks too enchanting in her bridal costumes that consist of a bright colored silk sari, usually red color considered very auspicious or any other similar bright colors and decorated with heavy zari works or any other eye-catching embellishments and a matching blouse/jacket. From head to toe each part of the body is adorned with precious gold jewelry studded with pearls and stones. Pearl is immensely popular as it is a Hyderabadi specialty. Even the head along with the hair is decorated with small trinkets and the hair is adorned with a lot of natural flowers like jasmine. The grooms wear a South Indian dhoti and a shirt in their style except in a Brahmin wedding they are bare-bodied on the upper torso, draping only an angavastram, a piece of cloth.
Next is Kanyadan where the girl’s father gives away his daughter to the groom separated from the bride by a screen that is placed between them. While the priests chant the sacred Vedic mantras the couple applies a paste of cumin seeds and jaggery on each other’s hands symbolizing that they cannot be separated for ever. Then the screen is removed and the groom ties the mangalasutra, generally a golden necklace with alternate black and golden beads, around the bride’s neck with three knots followed by exchange of garlands while the relatives and friends shower flowers and turmeric rice called akshata on them. Then the couple takes seven steps/saptapadi together around the fire with the bride’s sari end tied to the groom’s dhoti. Finally the groom slips toe rings made of silver on the bride’s toes. When the wedding ceremony concludes the parents of the bride clean the groom’s feet with water.
The post marriage rituals include Graha Pravesh wherein the bride enters her husband’s house with all rites and fanfare. Sixteen days after the wedding the two mangalasutras are tied together on a common string with a few black or golden beads between the two plates to avoid clash with each other, symbolizing perfect harmony among the two families.