Indian Wedding

The natives of Coorg, Kodavas, are a martial race, living in the hilly regions of Western Ghats of Karnataka, a south Indian state. They are tall, fair, very handsome and sturdily built. They conduct their weddings in an entirely different manner without ‘havan’/sacred fire or ‘saptapadi’/seven steps as seen in most other Indian weddings. They worship their ancestors and respect elders and so the senior most members of this community play a significant role in the weddings. As such, there is no Brahmin priest to officiate the weddings.

In case, the horoscopes of the boy and the girl agree and the two families give their consent to the alliance an auspicious day is fixed for the betrothal ceremony. The betrothal is held in the bride’s house, attended by two elder members from the groom’s side or clan. If an astrologer is there, he fixes an auspicious day and time for the ‘muhurtha’, the most important wedding rite of ‘Kodavas’. He makes the ‘lagna patrika’, the marriage letter containing the details of the ‘muhurtha’ and gives to the two families.
For the betrothal, the ‘nellakki nadu baade’ or the central hall of the house, where ‘Lakshmi’, the Goddess of wealth, is supposed to reside, is cleaned and purified by sprinkling cow dung water all over. A ‘thaliyathakki bolcha’ (lighted oil lamp kept on a bell-metal plate with some rice grains strewn over) is placed in the central hall. Before this lamp the two families stand facing each other and the two elder members formalize the engagement by sealing the agreement with the assurance that the wedding will be conducted in accordance with traditional customs. The groom’s ‘aruva’, the elder member of his clan’, salutes the lamp folding his hands, signifying a pledge. He then puts five coins or a piece of jewelry for the bride on the sacred lamp.

On the day prior to the wedding, all the female members from the bride’s and groom’s clans help the cooks by cutting the vegetables for the feast that follows while the male members erect the ‘pandal’ or shed over the steps leading to the house. Banana stumps with clusters of fruit are tied to the posts of the ‘pandal’ which is further decorated with festoons of mango leaves and flowers. After these works, the bride and groom, separately in their homes, pray to the sacred lamp in the central hall and touch the feet of their parents and the elders for their blessings. When the villagers leave, the bride’s people fill boxes with her trousseau, such as vessels, money, jewelry, clothes etc.
On the wedding day morning, a washerman ties a pure white cloth under the ‘pandal’ that stretches up to the central hall of the house. Below the white canopy, at the exact point where the couple will sit for the ‘muhurtha’ (wedding rites) a red silk cloth is attached. From one corner of the silk cloth, a bunch of ripe bananas hangs, a coconut from the second, a cucumber from the third and three betel leaves from the fourth while areca nuts or areca flowers are suspended from the center of the silk cloth.
Very early on the wedding morning the groom is taken to ‘kanni kombare’, a sacred room where a lamp is kept, then to ‘kanni kamba’, a sacred pillar and to the central hall of the house. He sprinkles rice on the sacred lamps and salutes them and just salutes the pillar. These customary practices are performed by the couple before each and every important ritual. For his ritual shave, the groom goes to a barber who, applying milk on his face, shaves off his facial hair and a part of his forehead. Not even a single strand is allowed to fall on the floor; all the hair is kept in a plate containing milk. His ‘aruva’ or ‘bojakaara’/bestman leads him to his ritual bath wherein three ‘muthaides’ (married ladies) pour water on him. The groom is dressed with the help of the best man. He smears ‘Vibuthi’ (sacred ash) on his forehead and chewing betel leaves and areca nuts he walks towards the ‘muhurtha’ site while a live band plays music to announce the arrival of the groom.
A ‘Kodava groom wears a white ‘kuppya’, a long coat down to mid-calf on the top of which an ornamental robe is worn along with tight-fitting trousers known as churidar. A red brocaded ‘chele’ is tied around the waist in a bow and the ends of the sash hang over the left thigh gracefully. His head carries a brocaded white turban imparting a majestic look. He carries a stick known as ‘gajje thand’, decorated with silver bells and the best man holds an umbrella covered with a white cloth over the groom’s head.
As far for the bride, she, dressed in a silk sari and a long-sleeved blouse sits on a mat spread on the floor and a bangle seller slips bangles of various colors, such as red, green and black onto the bride’s wrists. All other rituals are the same for the bride also, only in the place of best man a ‘bojakarthi’ or bridesmaid’ helps her till she enters the ‘muhurtha’ site.
The Coorgi bride is seen in a traditional gorgeous sari worn in a unique, but elegant manner with the pleats behind and ‘pallu’ safely pinned above chest. A long-sleeved jacket with or without a close collar is worn along with the beautiful sari. She has a decorated veil or scarf over her head. The bridal sari is handed down from one generation to the next in the belief that it would bring good luck and prosperity. She wears a number of gold necklaces, long and short with beads or stones and decorated pendants around her neck, beautiful danglers on the ears and bangles on the wrists. Her intricately designed anklets are made of silver.
Before the arrival of the bride or groom at the ‘muhurtha’ site the ‘aruva’s (the elder member of the clan) wife lights the sacred lanp in the central hall and spreads 2-3 mats in the North-South direction while the washerman covers these mats with a carpet. Then the ‘aruva’s wife places a ‘mukkali’ (three-legged low stool) in the center of carpet and spreads a red cloth over it. Two more three-legged stools are kept on each side of the first one in the center. Plates made of silver or bell metal containing rice are placed on these stools and a ‘kindi’, a type of small metal vessel with a spout, filled with milk is placed over the rice on one of the low stools. On either side of the ‘muhurtha’ site two tall lighted brass lamps are placed.
The bride or groom with the bridesmaid or the best man makes three circles around the middle stool. Then the bride/groom standing behind the stool, sprinkles rice on it thrice and with both hands he/she touches it and raises them up to the forehead. He/she then steps over the stool with the right foot and sits on it. Now the Kodava guests, one by one, come to attend the wedding after washing their feet with water. On sides of the passage, leading to the ‘muhurtha’ site nine or more (multiples of three), one yard-long plantain tree stumps are tied vertically to small wooden stakes dug into the ground. Only a few selected guests, usually the maternal uncles of the bride/groom and some renowned ones who the family decides to honor are given the honor of cutting the plantain stumps, known as ‘Baale Birud’. The guests, before performing the ‘baale birud’, call out to the Gods and pray along with the villagers without turbans or headgears. The guest or his representative walks around the stumps three times and with the ‘odi katti’/knife gently taps the arrows made out of the bark and the flowers on the top. He then cuts three stumps, one by one, with one stroke after which he begins to dance merrily.
Separate ‘muhurtha’ ceremonies are held for the bride and the groom in their respective houses. The bride/groom sits on the three-legged stool, with a red cloth spread on her/his lap while the bestman sits slightly behind the groom on his right side and the bridesmaid stands behind the bride. The mother comes first to bless the bride/groom followed by two married ladies. Usually these ladies gift bride/groom with gold coins. They take a little rice from the plates kept on each side of the bride/groom and sprinkle the rice three times on her/his head repeating the entire process three times. After this, gifts are offered either in the form of cash or jewelry. The bride/groom places the gifts on the red cloth spread on the lap and afterwards puts them in to a box or tray kept nearby. Four men sing the wedding song during the ‘muhurtha’, by beating ‘dudis’/drums.
Several types of sumptuous meat dishes are served in the wedding feast and the bride and the groom are served their meals in the rooms they went soon after the ‘muhurtha’ along with two of their best friends, eating from the same plate of the bride and groom.
The special guests who performed the ‘baale birud’ are given a fitting farewell by the hosts by escorting them up to the spot where the stumps are cut, with the beating of the live band.
After the feast the groom along with his party, in a wedding procession, goes to the bride’s house to bring her to the in-law’s house. A girl/lady carrying a ‘poliya’ (reed basket with a lid) filled with food stuffs on her head, also accompanies this procession. At the plantain stumps, the head of the family offers the groom some advice and sees them off to the bride’s house. When the groom’s people reach the plantain stumps at the bride’s house three men go to the bride’s house to announce the arrival of the groom’s procession. A chosen few from the bride’s side with the wedding band rush to the plantain stumps to receive the procession. The bride’s family honors the members from the groom’s family by asking them to cut the plantain stumps and the groom is given a traditional welcome by a young girl washing the feet of the groom and the bestman with water. The groom’s entry to the bride’s house is marked by sprinkling rice on his head. The groom and the bestman are then escorted to the central hall and are made to sit there. The ‘aruva’s wife takes the ‘poliya’ basket from the girl’s head and keeps it below the sacred lamp in the central hall.
When the groom’s people finish their meal the bride and the groom sit below the canopy for the ritual ‘Dampathi Muhurtha’ where the groom sits first on the right side of the bride. The rituals held here are similar to the ones performed in the separate ‘muhurtha’ earlier. After this the groom sprinkles rice on her head and gives her milk in the ‘kindi’, and a small bag made of red silk, known as ‘cheela pana’, that contains minimum one gold, one silver and one copper coins-a symbolical representation of sharing his wealth his wife-followed by the exchange of garlands by the couple. Next they are taken to the kitchen and stand on each side of the threshold of the kitchen. Taking her right hand the groom escorts her to the central hall by crossing the threshold. At this time all the ‘sammands’/rights in the groom’s clan are bestowed upon the bride, i.e. legalizing the wedding.
The wedding procession prepares to return to the groom’s house taking the bride along with them. After all the customary rituals, one man and woman from each clan in the bride’s village join the procession to the groom’s house, where the bride’s family performs the ‘baale birud’, cutting the plantain stumps this time.

The couple is welcomed by showering rice on their walk up to the entrance of the groom’s house. Immediately the groom performs the usual sprinkling of rice and salutations to all the sacred lamps. The bride too showers rice on the lamp in the central hall and prays before it. Then she is asked to sit on a wooden bench built along the border of the inner courtyard of the central hall and she seeks the blessings of the elders by touching their feet.

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