Indian Wedding

The Khatri community of Uttar Pradesh, a north Indian state, is part of the Kshatriya clan that originated in the Punjab. They conduct their weddings with all the traditional rites that may last all night. The ceremonies are elaborate and the ceremony known as ‘Bedi Lutna’ is their specialty in which the young cousins and other children plunder the wedding altar soon after the ceremony by removing all its adornments and toys.

Once an alliance is accepted between the families of the girl and boy, the bride, her parents and other close relatives go to the groom’s house with lot of gifts to confirm the alliance. The elder members from the groom’s family apply ‘Tilak’, a mark made with vermilion, on the groom’s forehead followed by fixing an auspicious date for the wedding. This engagement ceremony is known as ‘sagaai’.
In the ‘Godh Bharai’ ritual, held one or two days prior to the wedding, the groom’s people visit the bride’s house carrying gifts like jewelry, saris, cosmetics, accessories, silver, sweetmeats etc for the bride and the groom’s mother places silver platters containing all these gifts on her ‘godh’/lap. They also apply ‘tilak’ on her forehead.
On a day before the wedding the bride’s brother accompanied by other relatives goes to the bride’s house with gifts for him and his entire family and applies the ceremonial ‘tilak’ on the groom’s forehead followed by dancing and singing every day by members of the two families, particularly the youngsters, till the wedding day.
‘Kangana’ is an important ritual officiated by a Brahmin ‘pujari’ (priest). Two small bundles containing betel nuts, tamarind and tiny shells/cockles are tied to a red sacred thread called ‘mouli’ and blessed by the priest. These ‘kangans’/bracelets, a symbol of protection for all the wedding rites, are tied to the couple’s wrists and remain there till the end of all wedding rites.
A purely ladies’ function ‘mehendi’ or henna ceremony, held a day or two before the wedding has the professional henna artists making intricate designs on the palms and feet of the bride and the other ladies and girls by the application of henna paste in the midst of singing and dancing by the ladies present.
The ceremony ‘Seedhe Haath Tanni Kadai’ (the couple gets prepared for the wedding) is performed in both houses separately. The family members, one by one, touch the bride’s and groom’s toes, knees, shoulders and foreheads with ‘doob’, special blades of grass, after dipping it into mustard oil. In another preparation, a paste, ‘uptan’, made from chickpea flour, mustard oil, fresh milk curds and turmeric is applied on the faces, arms and feet of the couple after which they go for their regular baths.
In the ‘Chooda’ ceremony the bride’s maternal uncle (mama) and maternal aunt (mami) slips a set of cream and ivory bangles with inlay work on the bride’s wrists after a ‘puja’/prayer conducted by the priest and blessed by all. These days ivory ‘choodas’ are replaced by plastic or acrylic.

The ‘Vivah’ or marriage ceremonies are commenced with ‘Baraat’-the groom, attired in an off-white or cream color ‘sherwani suit, a head gear, ‘safa’ and a jeweled sword, a family heirloom fixed in his waistband, leaves for the wedding venue mounted on a lavishly decorated mare and accompanied by family members and close friends dancing to the tune of a live band. At the entrance of the venue the bride’s family gives him a warm welcome.
The UP Khatri bride is very charming either in a heavy Banaras silk sari decorated with beautiful zari works and a matching blouse or a heavily embroidered ‘lehenga choli, a full length ‘flowing flare’ skirt, blouse and a ‘dupatta’ the preferred colors being red, magenta and bright pink. She wears earrings, necklaces, bangles, armlets and anklets decorated with traditional ‘kundan works, i.e. uncut rubies, emeralds and diamonds set in gold.
The bride along with her close friends and cousins come to receive the groom and the ‘pujari’/priest performs a small ‘puja’ after which the couple exchanges garlands (jaimala ceremony). Then they enter the temporary ‘mandap’ or altar erected for the wedding ceremony and the bride too conducts the traditional ‘aarti’ for the groom.

Since in the UP Khatri weddings the wedding rites are performed only after midnight and may last till the early hours of the morning wedding dinner is served to the guests after the ‘jaimala ceremony. Only very close family relatives and friends stay there to witness the actual wedding rites.

The two officiating priests, one from each family, perform a special ‘puja’/prayer for the groom as he enters the altar. Numerous rituals are performed by the couple, their parents and close relatives. The main witness to the wedding, ‘Havan’ or the sacred fire is lit by the priest chanting Vedic mantras and he offers prayers to the fire for a long healthy, prosperous and happy life for the newly weds. The priest conducts these Vedic rites using fresh flowers, rice, pure butter or ‘ghee, sugar, grains and vermilion.

For one of the most important wedding rites, ‘Kanyadaan’, the bride with betel leaves, betel nuts, rice grains and one flower in her cupped hands stands facing the groom. The priest touches the couple’s foreheads with a ‘kalash, a pot containing water while the bride’s father touching her hands asks the groom whether he is prepared to accept her as his wife for which the groom, grasping her hands, promises to safeguard and give maximum care to her.

‘Gath Bandhan’ is the tying of the bride’s sari ‘pallu’ or ‘dupatta’/veil to the groom’s shawl/scarf which symbolizes the joining of the couple’s hearts and binding their families together in a lasting relationship. The bride and the groom take their marriage vows by circling the holy fire seven times while the priest recites the mantras and offers ‘samaghri’, a combination of herbs, pure butter and rice grains to the fire. After completing the seven ‘pheras’ the bride moves to the groom’s left side, the side very near to his heart.

‘Bari Palang’ is a unique custom in which the couple is taken to the room having the nuptial bed and they sit on it. After a brief prayer the bride, taking handfuls of rice throws it over her head looking straight. The ladies, who stand behind, try to collect as many rice grains as they can in their sari ‘pallus’ or ‘dupattas’. It is believed that good luck will favor the one who gathers the most. ‘Bedi lutana’ is another interesting ritual wherein the young cousins and children of the two families take away all the adornments and toys from the altar to their home. ‘Bedi lutana’ means plundering the ‘mandap’ or altar.

At the end of all the wedding ceremonies the parents of the newly weds hug and wish each other. At this time close to daylight, the bride is sent to the groom’s house. The next day morning the bride’s brother comes to the groom’s house to bring her, the groom and his close relatives sback to the bride’s parental house to take part in a sumptuous breakfast.

In the last ritual, ‘Vidaai’, the bride bids a tearful farewell to her parents, close relatives and friends all the while she is showered with flowers and gifts and arrives at her new house in a decorated car.

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