Indian Wedding

Marriages alliances among Tamil Chettiars, a progressive community of Tamil Nadu, a state in South India, are traditionally fixed within certain villages. There is absolutely no wonder, therefore, that all Chettiars are related and weddings among first cousins are very common. In fact the first choice for an eligible bachelor would be either his sister’s or maternal uncle’s daughter.

The weddings are elaborately rich and unique in rituals and customs. Through a middle man the bride’s party informs the groom’s people how much gifts or ‘seer’ they are prepared to give to their daughter for her wedding.
Nichayadartham or Engagement
When the groom’s party agrees for the wedding, on an auspicious day ‘Nichayadartham’ or engagement is held in the bride’s house. Two copies of the engagement agreement are written by a ‘pujari’/priest and these are exchanged between the two families. To make the sacred ‘mangalasutra’ known as ‘taali’ in Tamil language the groom’ parents give a part of the gold to the bride’s parents. The priest selects an auspicious date for the wedding.

For fixing the ‘muhurthakal’ for the wedding ‘pandal’ (canopy erected for holding the wedding rites) the person who will build the ‘pandal’ applies turmeric paste and red earth on a bamboo stick and ties a bunch of mango leaves on its top. Ghee (clarified butter) and coral (a semi-precious stone) are kept in a hole dug in the ground. Pouring milk on top of the bamboo stick, it is placed and fixed in the hole. Small cups with pulses are placed in front of the pole and they are allowed to germinate.

The maternal and paternal grandparents of the boy and girl are informed about the alliance by their parents seated on seats made of palm leaves, set on a ‘kolam’ (a decorative design drawn with colored rice flour.

Three days before the wedding, the two families go to their family temples for registering the legal agreement between the families. Then the couple is accepted as a unit of the temple. This registration is commemorated with ash and garlands brought by the temple staff. These garlands are later used for the actual wedding.

In the ritual ‘Padaipu’, also known as ‘koodai akki unnuthal’ ancestors are honored by offering cooked food. ‘Manai Poduthal’ is building the brick platform for the couple to sit on during various wedding rituals. ‘Arasanikkal’ is a decorated bamboo stick erected by the relatives in front of the wedding platform at the bride’s residence. This bamboo stick represents a king’s presence at the wedding. On the wedding morning a traditional lighted lamp is hung from a pole tied horizontally next to the ‘arasanikkal’. It is extinguished only after all the wedding rituals.
‘Mattru Kattuthal’ is creating a cloth ceiling to cover the top of the wedding platform. This provides protection to the couple. Ladies from both families decorate the houses with colorful designs known as ‘kolam’ made of rice flour. Members from groom’s family along with auspicious gifts come to the bride’s place to receive the sacred ‘mangalasutra/taali’. Meanwhile the groom’s maternal uncle adorns his toes with silver rings called ‘minji’.
Family members go to the temples to receive the garlands which are handed over to the bride’s family to use in the wedding rituals. Two elders from the groom’s family make an auspicious necklace for the groom to wear during wedding ceremonies by stringing various pendants together.
Early morning the bride, after bath, is decorated with gold chains and neem leaves are kept on her head, waist, shoulders and feet. These leaves are later taken away by a stick. The bride takes a second bath known as ‘Kanni Neeradal” or virgin bath after the ‘Vinayaka Puja’ conducted by the ‘pujari’/priest. This ritual is known as ‘Pooram Kazhithal. In another interesting ritual ‘Thumbu Pidithal’ the centre of the house is decorated with ‘kolam’-color designs-in the shape of a dome known as ‘gopuram’ to invoke the presence of God.
In a ceremony observed separately in both houses the bride and the groom are adorned with gold jewels. The ‘traditional ‘Azhagu Aarti’ is performed for the groom by his paternal grandmother just before he leaves for the bride’s house. She applies sacred ash on his forehead and bids him farewell.
The groom’s procession, accompanied by the playing of the ‘nadeswaram’, a wind instrument, is taken to a ‘Ganesh Temple’ for prayer before proceeding to the wedding venue. The bride’s people welcome the groom with auspicious gifts and a golden ring kept on a big plate for the groom. The groom’s mother carries the ‘mangalasutra/taali’ along with other gifts for the bride. The bride, accompanied by her paternal aunt, walks upto the groom while her brothers shower flowers on her. She stands on a ‘kolam’ (design on the floor) and her paternal grandmother/aunt performs the customary ‘aarti’ for her.
The bride looks dazzling in a gorgeous Kanjeepuram sari, lavishly decorated with ‘zari works and a chic matching blouse. The sari is too expensive, the color being red, maroon, green, magenta or any other bright ones. From head to toe she wears traditional jewelry, renowned for its breath-taking beauty. Her gold necklaces, bangles and earrings have diamonds, rubies and emeralds intricately set in. Her hair is elaborately adorned with jasmine flowers. The bridegroom’s dress includes a traditional white dhoti and a shirt.
The ‘pujari’ performs ‘Ganesh Puja’ for the bride and groom separately. Then the maternal uncles of the bride and groom tie bracelets known as ‘kappus’ containing a silver coin and a turmeric piece on a red cloth on their right wrists while the elders shower flowers on them. The couple is showered with the sprouted grains from the ‘Arasanikkal’ for a happy and prosperous married life. They receive blessings from the family members and friends who touch them on their shoulders, elbows and wrists with flowers dipped in milk, repeating three times.
Now the auspicious ‘mangalasutra/taali’ is brought in a plate and the elders bless it. The bride, wearing the clothes brought by the groom’s mother, stands on the platform facing east while the groom stands in front of her. After a prayer, the groom applies ash, brought from the temple on his forehead and on the bride too. He then puts the temple garland around her neck. He receives the ‘taali’ from an elder member of the family and ties the first two knots and his sister the third one around the bride’s neck. The ‘taali’ with the three knots are smeared with turmeric and vermilion. The bride keeps coconut and rice on a platter followed by the couple exchanging garlands three times and the blessings of the elders. The bride and the groom make seven circles (saptapathy) around the holy fire with the ‘pujari’/priest chanting marriage rites.
After this the fathers of the newly weds sit in the hall to sign the marriage agreement called ‘Isaivu pidimanam’ made by the priest and the marriage gets its recognition.
The bride is given a ceremonial welcome into her husband’s house either by his sister or mother. For this, seven cups containing turmeric, sacred ash, rice, salt, cotton, fruits, betel leaves and tamarind are placed on a platter. A measure, filled with paddy and a brinjal/betel leaf at its top known as ‘nirai nazi’ and a vessel with a spout filled with water are also kept. The bride stands facing east and the mother or sister touches the cups seven times and applies the sacred ash on her forehead and next on the bride. Repeating this for twenty one times, she gives a betel leaf to the bride and pours water on it.

Then the mother/sister touches the bride’s forehead with the betel leaf, thus welcoming her to the new house. The bride on her part washes her mother-in-law’s feet known as ‘padapuja’, followed by some traditional rituals in the groom’s house, to mention a few, the turmeric bath for the couple, ‘Kulam Vazhum Pillai’, i.e. the bride is entrusted with the household duties and ‘Thumbu Kattudal’-tying of the matrimonial thread around the bride’s neck.

After all the functions, bride’s family hosts a feast known as ‘kaichi uttrudal’ for the groom’s people. To conclude, the bride’s father removes the ‘arasanikkal’ and immerses the sprouted grains covered with a silk cloth in a nearby tank or lake.

WEDDING OF TAMIL BRAHMINSWEDDINGS OF THE TAMIL MUDALIARS