Indian Wedding

Dawoodi Bohra, popularly known as Bohri community, an off-shoot of Islam, is found largely in the Indian commercial capital Mumbai and the western state Gujarat. Many of them are well-established businessmen or traders in these regions. The grandeur with which they celebrate their weddings is seen in their elaborate food, lavishly decorated venues and sometimes even in the return gifts for the guests. Though many small customs are not usually incorporated, certain common customs are still followed by all Bohri weddings. Except Nikah, almost all the customs are allowed according to the convenience and means of the respective families.

In the ritual ‘mandvo’, held two days before the wedding, coconut, ‘falool’ (chopped dry fruit) and ‘nazral-maqam (few coins pledged on the name of a specific saint to ward off evil eyes) are placed in a red cloth and its ends are tied in a betel nut. The bride and groom’s paternal and maternal uncles tie this cloth at the entrance of their houses after which the boy and girl must remain in the houses till the wedding day.
‘Manek thamb’ is a ritual where a small thick wooden stick, known as ‘manek thamb, a flower garland and ‘nazral-maqam are kept on a red handkerchief and tied with yellow strings. A young girl, not yet attained her puberty, places it on the right side of the house entrance.

In another ceremony, the beating of the ‘katha’, the ingredients two coconuts, catechu, betel nut, cardamom, turmeric, camphor, chital ‘chini’, red and yellow strings and jasmine oil are brought in a red handkerchief. While the maternal and paternal aunts sit facing each other, the ‘katha ingredients, divided into four equal parts, are kept in a pestle and crushed that is finally thrown away in the mud or a water body. The four relatives are gifted lavishly for participating in this ceremony. This ritual is performed in the two houses separately.
Mosala is a ceremony performed by the maternal uncle (‘mama’) of the bride and groom. The uncle helps the groom to get dressed up, gives him buttons and flower garland and ties the traditional Bohri turban called ‘safa’ on his head. He also helps the groom to wear the shoes. Similarly, the aunt dresses up the bride with ‘lehenga-choli-odhni/dupatta or veil and helps her to put on the sandals. Four relatives, ‘faiji’ or sisters, then symbolically keep ‘mehendi’ sticks on the right palms of the bride and groom. All the family members are gifted by the uncle.
Before the wedding an important function, ‘peralumni’ is held in which the groom’s mother gives gifts including the dress to be worn on the wedding day to the bride. The bride’s people serve sweet drinks to all present.
On a fixed date the bride, groom, her father and two witnesses go to the local ‘maulvi’ to get their marriage registered. Here the bride demands a ‘meher’, an amount that the groom will give to her on the wedding day. This acts as a security for her in case they decide to split in the future.
The ‘Nikah’ is the actual wedding ceremony of the Bohri community. A date is fixed for four male members from the groom’s side to invite the bride’s relatives with gifts. The bride authorizes two of her relatives to act as her witnesses known as ‘wali’. Seeking the willingness of the bride and groom for the wedding is compulsory and so is announcing the ‘meher’, the amount of money, that is to be given to the bride by the groom. While the bride’s father holds the groom’s hand, the officiating priest reads the ‘Nikah’ and recites verses of solemnization. These three are the most important rituals for the solemnization of the ‘Nikah’.
The Bohri bridal outfit is a rich ‘ghaghra-choli or ‘lehenga-choli with a matching veil known as ‘dupatta’. She looks enchanting in the ghaghra suit with its pleasing colors and elaborate designs and embellishments. She has lovely intricate henna/’mehendi’ designs on her palms and feet and she wears dazzling fine gold necklaces around her neck, bangles on her wrists and dangling earrings. She is also adorned with nose-ring, anklets and toe-rings. The richly embroidered ‘rida’, the colorful version of the traditional black Muslim outfit, ‘niqab’, also finds a place in her wedding trousseau.
The groom’s dress consists of the traditional white pyjama-kurta and ‘saya, a long flowing white overcoat. He wears a stitched turban known as ‘Pheta’ with ‘sarpeck (a decorative feather stick) at its top. He also wears a religious locket called ‘takhti’ and a pearl/flower garland. His left hand is covered with an unstitched piece of embroidered zari cloth interwoven with velvet known as ‘dushala’ and a ‘bazzo bandh’ (a round piece of maroon velvet cloth with the names of the five holiest saints of Bohris called ‘Panjatan Pak) is tied on the right arm.
After the wedding/’Nikah, the ‘meher’ amount is given to the ‘wali’, the guardian of the bride. Two members from the groom’ side approach the bride with the ‘toran’ that consists of ‘misri’ (a sweetmeat), coconut, betel leaves, seven full pieces of betel nuts, flower garment, rich clothing and gold jewelry and give it to her. These two persons are gifted in return by the bride’s people.
Another important ritual is the ‘Salaam’ where the couple pays respect to elders by kissing their hands. They perform this to their mothers-in-law symbolizing that they accept them as one’s own mother. The mothers-in-law offer rich return gifts to them. When the bride performs ‘Salaam’ to her mother-in-law she holds a red cloth with one corner wrapped and tied with one silver coin, some amount of money , a coconut and two full pieces of betel nut.
Before the wedding feasts hosted by both sides, a religious meeting of ladies, ‘majlis’, and that of men, ‘darees’ are conducted to invoke the Almighty’s presence in every event. At the venue of the reception, the bride is received by her mother-in-law with ‘pannu’, a decorative basket that contains two coconuts, two flower garlands, little rice, pan-betel nut, one set of expensive dress, a necklace, sweets and a gift for the best bride’s maid even. A pair of sandals is kept beside the basket for the bride to wear to her husband’s house.

After the royal feast, the bride’s maternal uncles, in a ritual ‘chhera chheri’, ties her red dupatta to the end of the groom’s shawl symbolizing their long-lasting union. Lastly the bride proceeds to her husband’s house with plenty of tears and well-wishes.
Thus, the Bohri community, though largely influenced by the Indian cultures, continues to thrive with its own unique traditions rooted in Islamic values, a true reflection of what India keeps within her heart.

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